Bliss Thru Shopping: Bring on the artisanal toilet seats

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Thanks to Prince Charles and one particularly peppy cherry menthol, this week Bag Lady was initially torn between shopping for toilet seats or cough drops.

Then, she wanted to shop for all things love after hearing that her favorite, made-over fella on the new season of “Queer Eye” got engaged to the sweetheart he was trying to win back on the show.

Love versus loos versus lecithin.*

*An active ingredient in cough drops. Who knew?

This week, Bag Lady has it all.

Artisanal toilet seats need to be a thing

Tom Bower’s upcoming book, “Rebel Prince: The Power, Passion and Defiance of Prince Charles,” claims the prince travels with his own bedroom set and personal toilet seat.

Was this a one-off? Every time he travels? It is not horribly clear, but it is tantalizing enough to inspire amazing headlines, including, “Toilet seat SHOCKER: You’ll never guess what Prince Charles does with his,” in the U.K.’s Daily Star. Four stars to you, headline writer.

The idea of Prince Charles traveling with his own seat is a delight. A delight maybe I want to emulate if I can navigate the social awkwardness of walking into a friend’s house with a toilet seat slung around my arm.

What, this? Pay it no mind. You look great! How have you been?

Well, yes, I am carrying a toilet seat. And a screwdriver. But, really, it’s no big deal. I read this thing about Prince — you know what? We’re fixating.

Bag Lady and Shopping Siren shopped for toilet seats a few years back, so to devote a column to them again, it would have to be a new angle, like, say, Maine-made, small-batch artisanal wooden seats. 

Furious Googling revealed that no one seems to be making them here.

All these trees and not one toiletetic supple spruce seat? I only hope that is rectified.

Moving on to cough drops, as one does.

Go, you! And don’t cough!

I’d been fighting a persistent cold when I reached over to grab a cough drop from my nightstand one evening last week. Teasing open the wrapper, the message “Be unstoppable” caught my eye. Then, “Turn ‘can do’ into ‘can did’!” “Inspire envy” and “Push on!”

Cheesy as it was, darned it if it did not make me smile. Everyone needs to hear “Be unstoppable” at least once a day.

It came from a 200-pack of cherry menthol Halls bought at BJ’s Wholesale Club ($7.99.)

(And, yes, that is the largest bag of cough drops I have bought in my long life.)

Here’s to it lasting through at least a dozen colds, and here’s to YOU being unstoppable.

You and the adorable Tom Jackson. …

Awww! (All the feels)

Shopping Siren wholeheartedly recommended Netflix’s new season of “Queer Eye” (a reboot of the original show with a new cast) and it is the very definition of binge-worthy awesomeness.

Episode one kicks off with frumpy-but-cheerful Tom, who is transformed from a wild-bearded semi-loner who never got over his ex-wife, Abby, to a man gamely dabbing green concealer on his face, oiling up his beard and inviting Abby for a night on the town. Well, OK, a night at the local car show, but, same thing.

They are adorable together, and last week, Tom announced they’d gotten engaged, again. 

SS and BL might have collectively squee’d.

It is nice when love wins.

Maybe not as nice as allegedly traveling with a toilet seat, a staff of 124 people and two paintings of the Scottish Highlands to hang in your temporary quarters. Prince Charles, you are a gift that keeps on giving — but love is probably more attainable.

Bag Lady’s true identity is protected by a pair of stylish, sweater-wearing Doberman pinschers (who were SHOCKED to hear it’s officially spring) and the customer service counter at the Sun Journal. You can reach her at [email protected]

Bag Lady’s relentlessly cheery Halls cough drop. (Russ Dillingham/Sun Journal)

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