Good news, everyone! Kmart is sticking around.
At least the one in Auburn.
At least for right now.
Kmart is one of those places that’s easy to take for granted because it’s just always been there. Like your grandmother’s kitchen. But with less lemon cake and more Craftsman tool sets.
So this week, Shopping Siren took a fresh look at the old place. Kmart, not your grandmother’s kitchen — which is lovely, I’m sure, but does not offer 80 percent off Christmas decorations. Unless it does, in which case I’d love the address.
And also some lemon cake.
• Adam Levine menswear, $12.99 to $59.99 (buy one, get one free)
He’s the lead singer of Maroon 5, a judge on the hit show “The Voice” and apparently, a vintage-inspired fashion designer. In 2018, that is what’s known as a triple threat. (According to Kmart, the Adam Levine Collection was actually created by former “Project Runway” contestant Kevin Christiana under Levine’s direction. Bah. Close enough.) The Kmart collection is heavy on skinny jeans, denim jackets and So. Much. Print. It’s very hipster-meets-funky. So, yeah, pretty much Adam Levine in clothing form.
• Route 66 or Attention women’s boots, $11.99 to $15.99
Knee-high or ankle boots, various sizes and colors. All 60 percent off! For some reason, I totally did not expect such a fashion boot extravaganza from Kmart, but here it is. Stock up now. The way this weather’s going, you’ve probably already worn through a pair or three.
• Attention women’s puffer jackets, $24.99
Regularly $49.99, these jackets are a great deal. They’re also warm, lightweight and come in a variety of cute colors. If you want more than that from your outerwear, you want too much.
• As Seen on TV items, various prices
Kmart maintains a whole aisle of infomercial merchandise, including the Sift Away cat box for $5 and Scratch-Dini car scratch remover for $9.99. My favorite: the Flippin’ Fantastic nonstick pancake ring for $14.99. (Buy one, get one half off). It’s supposed to make seven perfect little pancakes without a mess. As opposed to the way I do it now, which is takeout from IHOP.
• Binder labels, $2.99
Five removable stickers that, when your three-ring binders are lined up on a shelf, show a scene out of Angry Birds, “The Big Bang Theory” or the Marvel universe, depending on which pack of labels you grab. Mix and match and have Spider-Man swooping over Sheldon. Much more entertaining than my old binder labels, which said exciting things like “taxes.”
• Serta Skyfield mattresses, $109.99 to $339.99
Newsflash: Kmart sells mattresses now! Or maybe it always did and I just missed these nestled between office supplies and electronics? Either way, they’re heeeere! If your New Year’s resolution is to get more sleep, this might help.
Best find: Christmas clearance, various prices (80 percent off)
Christmas is over, but Kmart still has a good supply of everything glitter and gold. Get 100 feet of sparkly ribbon for $1.99, a six-pack of glass bulbs for $1.59, a lighted tree-topper star for $4.59. Basically, plunk down $20 and you can decorate your whole house next season. Or decorate now. No judgment.
Think twice: Trim A Home rotating Christmas tree stand, $7.99
Normally $39.99, this tree stand is a great deal. And maybe if you don’t have a kid/pet/spouse/healthy fear of calamity, you can have a tree that rotates 360 degrees. Otherwise, this seems like a bad idea. So skip the spinner and use that money to buy something else at Kmart. It’ll be around for a while.
Shopping Siren’s true identity is protected by a pair of stylish, sweater-wearing Doberman pinschers (who refuse to go outside without boots) and the Customer Service counter at the Sun Journal. You can reach her at email@example.com.
Route 66 knee-high women’s boots from Kmart, $13.99. If this winter has one redeeming quality, it’s that you’ll need more boots.