Car names suggest that you are what you drive


DEAR ABBY: My husband and I had fun coming up with cars that fit with certain professions (Jan. 23). It made a long car ride seem short. Here’s what we came up with: The Greek epic poet Homer would have a Honda Odyssey, and a firefighter a Chevy Blazer. An entomologist would crawl through traffic in his Mitsubishi Spyder. A meteorologist would drive a Honda Element, an astronomer would have a Mitsubishi Eclipse and an optician a Ford Focus. Picasso would paint the town in his Nissan Cube, an ornithologist would use a Ford Falcon and his lawyer would drive a Honda Civic. — MEGAN T., RIDING THE HIGHWAYS IN BELVIDERE, N.J.

 DEAR MEGAN: I’m pleased I was able to make your road trip more enjoyable. Readers, you amaze me! You put the pedal to the metal and came up with some ingenious responses. My staff and I had a great time reading them. Read on:

 DEAR ABBY: Stretching my imagination, I envisioned Jacques Cousteau with his Plymouth Barracuda, King Arthur in an Excalibur Phaeton and “Mini-Me” in a Mini Cooper. “Dog the Bounty Hunter” would choose a Mercury Tracer. And don’t you think Cadillac had Disney villainess “Cruella” in mind when it came out with the “DeVille”? — WINNI AT THE WHEEL IN L.A.

 DEAR ABBY: I work at a correctional facility and had to laugh when I saw the warden drive up in his Ford Escape! — JAZZY IN WAYNESBORO, TENN.

 DEAR ABBY: Here’s my suggestion: Clint Eastwood driving a Dodge Magnum with a Magnum Force plate — no, wait, he can’t have that one because I already do! — DONNA IN SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA

 DEAR ABBY: How about pairing these names and cars? Astronomer Carl Sagan in a Mercury Comet, decathlon winner Bruce Jenner in his Javelin, Mr. T. in his very own Model T. And finally, Albert Einstein sporting around in — what else — a Smart Car. — STEVEN, ALONG FOR THE RIDE IN L.A.

 DEAR ABBY: I have one: Michael Phelps in his Ford Freestyle. — EMILIE IN ALBUQUERQUE, N.M.

 DEAR ABBY: I submit the following: Keanu Reeves driving a Toyota Matrix, Courteney Cox cruising around in her Mercury Cougar, Dizzy Gillespie in a Dodge Coronet and Thomas Edison in a Chevy Volt. When Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger isn’t driving around in his Hummer, he’d be using his Ford Flex, and Ben Franklin would drive a Jeep Liberty. Abby, thanks for providing so many funny moments as well as insightful advice. — GREG IN GLADEWATER, TEXAS

 DEAR ABBY: If some famous people were alive today, they’d have some interesting choices. Christopher Columbus might drive a Ford Explorer and Daniel Boone a Mercury Mountaineer. — TERI IN ORRVILLE, OHIO

 DEAR ABBY: We’re up to the challenge here in Oregon. A Navy captain driving his PT Cruiser, a housekeeper in her Plymouth Duster and, finally, the local weatherman in his Buick Tornado. — DEBBIE IN EUGENE

 DEAR ABBY: I have the perfect model for the 12 disciples. The Bible says they were all in one Accord. — JANE RIVERA IN PENNSYLVANIA

 Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.