DIXFIELD — Trying to refrain from bursting out laughing was a
lost cause at Saturday afternoon’s sports-themed wedding between Glenn Porter
and Pamela Duprey in Porter’s father’s backyard off Canton
Point Road.

For instance, how many couples can say they got hitched wearing
actual hockey jerseys instead of tux and gown while standing around the Stanley
Cup trophy replica on a hockey rink beside a 36-foot-long replica of Fenway
Park’s famous Green Monster wall?

“It’s too funny,” Cindy Paine of Dixfield said.

“It’s crazy,” Porter’s dad Frank said.

Across from a stadium parking lot tailgate party, a large New
England Patriots stadium menu attached to a canopy listed the day’s meals –
food found at a sporting event. A chili cookoff would follow the ceremony after
Mr. and Mrs. Glenn Porter cut the cake.

The cake was actually four cakes, each topped with a
detailed athlete that ringed a larger cake topped by two detailed hockey
players facing off at center ice with an Oreo hockey puck.

Parked beside the rink, a pickup truck displayed a replica
of the Vince Lombardi football trophy, while the World Series trophy replica
stood in the bed of a third truck.

Shortly after 2 p.m.,
notary public Randy Hotham of Dixfield, dressed in the
uniform of a Professional Football League referee, twice tweeted his whistle
and people quickly took their places.

Instead of the traditional wedding march, Frank Porter
walked Duprey past the Green Monster to Hank Williams Jr.’s song, “Let’s
Get Ready to Rumble.”

Then, a recording of the national anthem was played, after
which, best man Scott Tabb of Oxford,
yelled, “Play ball!”

According to the scoreboard, when Duprey, 50, and
Porter, 45, next read their wacky vows, the Red Sox led the Yankees 8-0 in the
top of the fifth inning.

“I promise to love you as much as the Nashville Predators
and not hold your San Jose Sharks against you,” Glenn Porter said of their two
favorite hockey teams. “From this day forward, I will listen to all of your
complaints about fantasy hockey, if you say them during the off-season.”

“I will love you in sickness and in health, from this day
forward, until death parts us or you become a Yankees fan,” Porter said.

Duprey, laughing, read her vow.

“I promise to love you as much as I love my San Jose Sharks,
and not hold your Nashville Predators against you,” she said. “I will only show
you my new stats during commercial breaks, and promise to keep you in the
latest sports fashions.”

“From this day forward, I will make sure to cheer for the
same team as you in public,” she said. “I will love you for richer or poorer,
as long as you don’t cheer for the Yankees.”

Hotham then pronounced them man and wife and a kiss —
followed by several requested instant replays from the crowd  — sealed the deal.

Both bride and groom wore powder-blue Pittsburgh Penguin
Winter Classic jerseys. Best man Tabb wore a New England Patriots jersey while
his wife and maid-of-honor, Paulette Tabb, wore the Boston Red Sox jersey of “Big
Papi” Ortiz.

Their wedding bands were inside the hockey trophy beside an
official hockey puck.

“We’re having a lot of fun with this,” said Pam (Duprey)
Porter, who works at Towles Corner Store on Route 2 in Dixfield. Her new
husband is employed by Irving Wood
Products at its Dixfield sawmill.

The couple, who got engaged during a Lewiston Maineiacs
hockey game on Dec. 11, 2007,
in front of more than 2,200 people, said they’ve been working on the elaborate
production for more than a year.

Glenn Porter and friends built the Green Monster and the
12- by 20-foot hockey rink.

“It was a unique opportunity to unite two people in marriage
and take a different slant,” Hotham said. “It’s fun, and it should be fun.”

As for the honeymoon, the happy couple, who are bluegrass
performers, will attend the upcoming annual bluegrass festival in Sidney.

As the party got under way, Scott Tabb donned a large tray
and walked through the crowd, acrobatically flipping small packages from it to
raised hands, yelling, “Peanuts! Get your peanuts!”

tkarkos@sunjournal.com