And you thought West Side Story was weenie
In response to the words "hope" and "love" spray painted prettily near the old Cowan Mill, some local wit wrote: "Apparently Lewiston is now controlled by the Hope Love Gang. I pray there is not an all out war between them and the Dream and Possibilities Gang."
For today's high times, we're going to play a little game. No, not that game. Put your clothes back on. Twister isn't until April. I'm going to list a few of the football bowl games, you have to determine which ones are real. And we're off.
Beef O'Brady's Bowl
Midnight Boutique Crotchless Bowl
The Jesus Party Bowl
Craiglist Personals Bowl
Punky Come Home
A few weeks ago, I whined that our street-wandering, pirate-looking, two-places-at-one-time-being, bottle-collecting Magic Man had taken off for Portland. Now he's back in Lewiston. Coincidence?
For the first time ever, somebody has accused me of ignoring the seedy side of Lewiston and writing only about the good stuff. It's smart people like this guy who make this city one of the greatest in the world.
Freeze here often?
You wouldn't believe the number of older women who have approached me in parking lots to ask if I'm dressed warmly enough to be riding a motorcycle. I'm guessing it's the MX helmet. Total babe magnet.
Candy is dandy, liquor is quicker
In Lewiston, we've got a beer store opening on one end of town, a candy shop opening on the other. I don't really have a point to make. I just wanted to use that old rhyme.
Checking his list
In Lewiston, a young lady was approached by a man who wanted to know if she was a good girl and if she had eighty cents. Apparently, a certain jolly old elf has fallen on hard times.
"The first X-mas Grinch struck last week. Two sections of the Ware Street Inn's white picket fence on College Street were forced down to steal a large, red X-mas ball hanging from our corner sign... The Grinch works both sides of the fence!"
You want to ask what the hell a person would do with a giant red ball, but hey. It's Lewiston. Some things are better left unsaid.
I know what you think. You think I'm going to crack wise about public urination or something offensive like that. Well, I'm not. In a matter of such a serious nature, I'm going to take the high road here.
Unfortunately, without that public urination thing, I don't have anything at all to say about this issue.