Man takes canceled lunch date as personal rejection

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DEAR ABBY: My lunch date for today canceled on me. Generally, when a girl does this, I delete her number and move on. But in this instance, it wasn’t a first or second date. We have been seeing each other for about a month and have built up some degree of intimacy. Moreover, I know she’s not lying when she says she had a busy week. She apologized via text not once, but twice.

Nevertheless, I feel that as genuine as her apology was and as she has seemed in the time we have been together, this incident indicates either a lack of caring or integrity.

Would I be right to forget her? Or is this the one time a cancellation is justified? — CLASSIC OVER-ANALYZER IN L.A.

DEAR OVER-ANALYZER: Your problem isn’t that you are a classic over-analyzer; it’s that you seem to be extremely insecure to the point of courting rejection when none is there. People cannot always control their schedules. And cancellations can happen more than once without it being an indication of lack of interest or caring. I see no reason why you should “forget” a woman whose company you enjoy, unless you are a masochist.

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DEAR ABBY: I am a mother of three grown children who all have successful careers. The problem is they seem to have lost touch with the real world. They no longer have compassion or respect for people who must live with less, or who are not as well-educated as they are. This includes my husband and me.

We feel like we no longer fit into their world. It has become hard for us to have any relationship with them. How can I make them see that money and status are not the only things in this world, and that they should show more compassion to others? — IN TOUCH WITH THE WORLD IN OHIO

DEAR IN TOUCH: You have my sympathy, but the lessons you would like to teach your adult children are ones they should have learned during childhood. Sometimes people who are “nouveau riche” try to forget their humble beginnings by avoiding the people who knew them when they were regular folks. It couldn’t hurt to remind your offspring that money and status can be lost as quickly as they were earned, but family is supposed to be there forever.

DEAR ABBY: I have a wonderful daughter who is a perfect mother and wife. The problem is, she’s in her 40s and dresses really inappropriately, sometimes wearing skirts and shorts so short they barely cover her bottom. She’s also very voluptuous and always shows cleavage. When she goes out for the evening, she shows practically everything.

She takes lots of photographs with her family, and in all of them she’s so exposed that sometimes when she gives me prints, I have to add magic marker so she looks more modest. She is a sweet person who is loved by everyone, so I don’t know how to handle this. Please help me. — COVERED UP IN OAKLAND, CALIF.

DEAR COVERED UP: You say your daughter is a perfect mother and wife in her 40s. She may display her assets because it has been a winning combination for her so far or because her husband likes it.

The time is long past when you should tell her what or what not to wear, even if you are well-meaning. The best advice I can offer is to continue wielding your magic marker and pray for colder weather.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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