Neighbors’ floodlight rude

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DEAR ABBY: My next-door neighbors are renovating their house to sell and have installed motion-sensor lights. Unfortunately, their floodlights shine on our deck and hot tub, and have destroyed our privacy. I have spoken to them about it several times. and they turned them off for a while.

Now that they’re getting ready to sell, they have turned them back on. Their property is only about 45 feet wide. One light that shines down the center of their property seems sufficient to me. Despite my having talked to them, they seen unconcerned. They say they need them to walk through their property at night, but they don’t do it that often.

I don’t want to do anything that could escalate into something ugly. Other than politely asking them again to do something about the floods, what’s my recourse? They have seen the lights shining on our property and acknowledged that they do shine on our deck and hot tub, but it doesn’t seem important to them. I hope you can help. – BLINDED BY THE LIGHT

DEAR BLINDED:
Write your neighbors a nice registered letter and ask them to reposition their sensor lights so that when they go on, they do not illuminate your property. If they ignore you, then consult an attorney. I seriously doubt their property will sell easily if there is the taint of forthcoming litigation.

DEAR ABBY: I have one child, a daughter. When I was divorced, “Maddie” was 17. I have been there for her in good times and bad. She now has three beautiful children.

The problem is Maddie treats me like dirt. She yells at me constantly for stupid reasons, or because she’s in a bad mood or maybe had a fight with her boyfriend. I have stopped loaning her money because all I get is empty promises to pay it back.

When things don’t go her way, Maddie threatens me with “you won’t see your grandkids.” She wasn’t raised this way, but she is one of the rudest people I know. I cry all the time. I can’t sleep, and my nerves are shot. I just don’t know how to deal with her anymore.

By the way, my daughter is 25. Because she is my only child, I don’t want to lose her or my grandkids. – HEARTBROKEN MOTHER AND GRANDMA

DEAR HEARTBROKEN:
Your daughter may be 25, but she appears to have the maturity of a young teenager. It’s time to realize that her abusive behavior is having an effect on your health. For your own sake, you must draw the line.

Absence sometimes makes the heart grow fonder, so please step back and devote some time to healing yourself. Spend time with friends, devote some energy to activities that bring you pleasure. I promise, the next time your daughter needs something, you will hear from her, and she’ll be reminding you how much your grandchildren “need” to see you, not threatening you with banishment.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 43-year-old woman with a lot of experience in my field of expertise. My problem is, my boss hired a student intern full time. I have been working here four years and, basically, run the store – opening up, etc. – but the student is making more money than I do.

What would you do? Move on, or stay and feel unfairly treated? – THE OLD SHOE

DEAR OLD SHOE:
I would certainly explore other employment opportunities. Money talks, and by paying you less than the intern, your boss has sent you a message.

It appears your boss is taking you for granted. But before you leave, have a chat with the boss and give him or her the opportunity to offer you a raise and retain a trusted employee.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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