Bliss Thru Shopping: Waiting room reads. Bust's in, Royalty Monthly out.
Bag Lady, for one, will not suffer Sports Illustrated quietly.
Having had reason to sit in too many waiting rooms of late, I've been floored by the array — and lack of array — of decent waiting room reads.
One actual, recent selection from a mid-sized doctor's office: SI, Golf Digest, WebMD, FitPregnancy and Boy's Life, a scouting magazine.
Bag Lady choked down a seven-month-old feature on Brett Favre's career.
Around the part about him taking off for the New York Jets, I was begging anyone within earshot to just punch a needle in me already. ("Could. Not. Care. Less. Please. Help!")
At the doctor's or the mechanic's, great waiting room reads offer a distraction from both a too-long wait and any impending unpleasantness. Unappealing magazines prolong the agony. And sure, one person's appealing is another person's not-so.
Enter a waiting room's best friend: variety.
Office-keepers, please, learn it, love it, embrace it. Because Bag Lady will be back. You hope.
For one-stop shopping ease, these could be picked up at Mr. Paperback and would dress up any waiting room:
• Draft, $4.99
Slogan: "Life on Tap"
On its eye-catching cover, "50 beers, 50 states." Of course, Bag Lady had to look. Spoiler alert: Maine's pick, Sheepscot Valley Brewing Co.'s Pemaquid Ale, is brewed in Whitefield.
• Game Pro, $5.99
Slogan: "Prepare to play"
On-the-cover-tease: "A boy & his blob." I know neither the boy nor the blob, but I want to. Another feature on the inside — "Anatomy of an assassin" — is equally curious. Why not magazine outside the box and appeal to teen and 20s customers?
• Renovation Style, $4.99
Ideal for any homeowner 25 to 85, complete with before-and-after pictures. Sure, you're waiting for new disc brakes/a new rotator cuff, but that shouldn't prevent you from becoming inspired to move the living room furniture around a bit.
• Everyday with Rachael Ray, $3.99
Offers recipes, features, coupons. Eye-catching tip: "Place candles in fridge for an hour before a party. They will burn slowly and evenly." Those Yankee Candles are cozying up to the milk before the next soirée at the Bag house.
• Teen Vogue, $2.99
Slogan: "Fashion starts here"
Good for any-aged fashionista. A little older? Skip the "Twilight" movie coverage and go straight to the story on "Mega Cool Hair." One is never too old for Mega Cool Hair.
Best find: Bust, $4.99
Slogan: "The magazine for women with something to get off their chest"
I love, love the provocative title, want to read its Diablo Cody interview and completely relate to the Joy of Not Cooking feature on the inside. Winner!
Think twice: Royalty Monthly, $7.99
Slogan: "Your mirror on the world's Royals"
A mag devoted to the tea-sipping and the well-heeled, with glossy semi-candids. It has a "Penfriends" feature, with the following letter that I swear I am not making up. It starts:
"Hello. I'm a 46-year-old male. I plan to take future business (college) classes to study finance."
The entire English language at his disposal, 46 years of hope, angst, success, and that's the best self-pitch this gent can make in the hopes of snagging a pen pal?
This, much like the magazine, is a pitch ... a swing ... and a miss. And Bag Lady doesn't do sports.
Bag Lady's true identity is protected by a pair of stylish, sweater-wearing Doberman pinschers (who prefer Cat Fancy; always know more about the enemy) and the Customer Service counter at the Sun Journal. You can reach her at baglady@sunjournal.com
Bravosixalpha says
Considering the amount of time one must wait to be seen in a doctor's office, and the fees they charge, it might be a nice gesture for the doctor's office manager to spring for a magazine or two. However Mad Magazine and a few other are getting expensive, so if you as the visitor, are not happy with the literature provided, bring your own.