Catalogs provide more than merchandise

I'm happy to say I have my Christmas shopping well under way. I'm sure as some of you folks read that opening sentence there will be some groaning. And some might even think I'm an organized person, but I can assure you that I am not.

The reality is that I get paid monthly so I now have just two paychecks between now and Christmas. If there is any hope of budgeting those last two paychecks to include bill paying and Christmas shopping, I'd better get on the ball.

I do a lot of shopping via the Internet because it is so convenient and there is such a huge assortment of Web sites that offer interesting and unique items. The problem with these "online" companies is once you buy from them, they all send you catalogs galore. I have catalogs arriving in the mail at a rate of four or five a day.

I received one catalog that is entirely devoted to items related to Woodstock. I know this year marks the 40th anniversary, but just how many tie-dyed T-shirts can one want?

There is one company that sells assorted food and candy items that I usually do get a few things from. I don't even look at their catalogs because I go directly to their Web site, but so far I have received 10 different catalogs from them. That just isn't going to entice me to buy more than I usually do.

My favorite catalog that I'm not going to order from is Hammacher Schlemmer. I get several of these, too. Now here's a company that sells some of the most expensive esoteric geegaws that I've ever seen.

For example, the well-off cat lover can buy a feline tree house complete with a little house, scratch pad, two platforms and a real dragonwood tree. And this little kitty treat is only $874.95 and $125 for shipping.

Don't have a cat but you want to get your dog a great gift? How about an indoor dog restroom? This grass-like mat and tray system lets the dog feel like he is outside where he can answer nature's call. This wonderful accommodation can be your doggy's for only $149.95. And you can get extra grass like pads for a mere $64.95.

If you would rather spend your money indulging your children instead of your pets, they have the gift for that, too. How about a remote control Cessna airplane for only $349.95. The eight AA batteries are not included.

I can hardly wait for tomorrow's mail to see what new catalogs the mailman will bring me.

They are fun to go through, but by the time December rolls around, my stack will be over 2 feet high. If you consider the expense of printing and mailing all those catalogs it represents quite a bit of money. They should just send me the money instead of the catalogs and the way I see it, that would be enough to finish my Christmas shopping.