WHERE DID HE PUT THE NOVOCAINE?
Doctors extracted a tooth from Australian rugby player Ben Czislowski that is believed to have been embedded in his head for more than three months. Suddenly, every 390-pound NFL offensive lineman looks like a giant wuss.
TWO HOURS HOME WOULDN’T KILL HIM
Tour de France rider Marcus Burghardt was thrown to the ground after a spectator’s dog ran out in front of his bike Tuesday. Burghardt and the dog escaped injury. Nice to know that Americans aren’t the only people rude enough to presume that their dog must accompany them to every public place.
REDNECK’S LAST WORDS: “HEY, MAN, CHECK THIS OUT”
China is conducting experiments using rockets to disperse rain clouds. If successful, the tactic will be used to ensure sunny weather for the 2008 Summer Olympic Games. Nice. Way to give a few intoxicated NASCAR fans some very bad ideas.
YEAH, HE’S A REGULAR BIONIC MAN NOW
An amateur athletic spokesman contends that sprinter Oscar Pistorius’ prosthetic legs offer less air resistance than flesh and bone. And I thought the people who argued that riding in a golf cart would help Casey Martin hit the ball straighter were idiots.
Rutgers assistant football coach Chris Demarest was charged with assaulting a female companion at a bar last weekend. Wow, who would have believed it? The Scarlet Knights’ program really HAS replaced the Miami Hurricanes in the national conversation.
THANK GOODNESS FOR THE MERCY RULE
The United States defended softball’s World Cup with a 3-0 win over Japan. That makes 16 straight wins by a margin of 134-4 this year. In order to justify a Cup, doesn’t the World have to put up a fight?
NOT EXACTLY RESURRECTING THE DREAM TEAM
Kobe Bryant is one of 17 NBA players expected at USA Hoops minicamp this weekend. Let’s hope LeBron James, Carmelo Anthony, Dwight Howard and Kevin Durant “move well without the basketball,” as coaches like to say, because they’ll be doing a lot of it.