Page Two: On the tube

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MLS Soccer: New England at Real Salt Lake

11 a.m., Fox Sports Channel

The queen should be offended. ‘Real’ is both a weak adjective and flimsy English.

Football: Lobster Bowl

Noon, Time Warner Channel 9

If you’ve been too lazy or too cheap to watch Jared Turcotte play high school football, do not let your final chance slip away.

Golf: Senior British Open

1 p.m., Channel 8

How long until Colin Montgomerie turns 50, so he can finally win a major?

MLB: Red Sox at Devil Rays

1:30 p.m., NESN

Playing in the same division as Tampa Bay: The gift that keeps on giving.

NASCAR: Allstate 400 at the Brickyard

2 p.m., ESPN

All the goose-bumpy pageantry of Indianapolis without the speed. Or the tradition. Or Ashley Judd.

ArenaBowl: San Jose vs. Columbus

3 p.m., Channel 8

Destroyers: Potentially the best team in Arena Football. Buckeyes: Best team in the city.

Cycling: Tour de France, final stage

8 p.m., Versus

Results will be available August 19 after a thorough urinalysis.

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