"Why don't more people drink Pabst Blue Ribbon?" -- Tim Treadwell

Because "more people" are snobby elitists who believe that beer is good only if it's as brown as sludge and comes from some country with a name you can't pronounce. Pabst Blue Ribbon is beer. Beverages spiced with pumpkin or blueberry are not. Any person who drinks Pabst is clearly an honest person of great integrity and should be considered for the office of president.

Do you honestly think the Kansas City Royals will get past the New York Yankees for the American League championship in your lifetime?" -- Roch Rousseau

Why, yes. Yes, I do. Because the Royals are a small-budget team with a lot of heart and character. Because my brother is a Yankees fan and he deserves to weep like a baby. Because I've just been drafted to play shortstop for KC next season. So long, suckers!

"Why does Simones' only have one restaurant and will they expand to Auburn?" Chris Tarr

I passed this along to downtown fixture Jimmy Simones who responded: "You owe me for five hot dogs, that large fries and a coke. Also, you have ketchup on the end of your nose." So to answer your question, I don't know. Does anybody have an antacid?

"Do you think Kim Jong-Il's recent testing of nuclear weapons is due to the fact that he has a small penis?" Kris Kucera

Yep. North Korea's bad boy is like that guy you know who drives a massive, loud car to compensate for his diminutive stature and bald spot. You can tell him I said so, too. Kim Jong-Il, that is. Not that guy you know.