Q: I'm a tenant in a four-apartment building with paper-thin walls and floors who has been having problems with two of my upstairs neighbors. When they have sex, they're so loud that I can hear everything as clearly as if they were in the next room. I've expressed my discomfort and asked if they could have at least a little consideration. The guy appears to be respecting my feelings, but the girl has only gotten louder. I know everyone has the right to do what they do in the bedroom. But I also have a right to be respected. Am I wrong? What else could I do about this?

Steve: If it were me, I'd sell tickets and invite an audience. But then you'd have to get your neighbors to set a time, and they'd want a percentage. If you don't like that idea, try earplugs.

Mia: I'd take them on. Play loud music at late hours or get a punk band to hold rehearsals in your living room. Perhaps once they get a taste of their own medicine, they'll negotiate.

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Q: My 11-year-old daughter has her first boyfriend. Thus far it's just sitting together at lunch and the occasional awkward phone call, but I'm worried she's too young. Should I put an end to this or let it run?

Steve: Putting an end to it will result in serious payback when she's a teenager. Assuming her boyfriend is her age, I don't see much harm. Consider this an opportunity to begin an open, nonjudgmental conversation with your daughter about relationships. If she learns early on that you won't interfere, she's more likely to be open with you about her relationships later on.

Mia: My dim memories suggest that fifth-grade relationships last no more than a few weeks. And in any case, what could they really do? I'd encourage her to invite her new "friend" over to the house. She'll be so thrown by her supportive parents she won't know what to do. If anything, it might freak her out enough to dump him sooner.

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Q: I have been happily married for 20 years. My wife and I enjoy a wonderful sex life, but it's far too infrequent for me. During dry spells, I at times turn to porn sites. It makes me feel guilty, because I know she would be devastated if she knew. What is your opinion?

Mia: If she won't have sex with you, looking at porn seems reasonable to me. Perhaps you should talk with her about it and explain to her that it isn't a betrayal. Maybe you could watch some together. Might spice things up a bit.

Steve: How do you know she'd be devastated? Talking about this with her is the first step toward easing your guilt. If she objects, enlist her help in finding a solution that satisfies you both.

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Q: I have feelings for a guy I've known since grade school. He makes me so nervous, I can't seem to talk with him. How do you tell someone you have very strong feelings for them? Problem is, he's my ex's friend.

Mia: I'd get some tickets to a sporting event, tell him you scored them for free and ask him along. Then during the game, you can casually mention that you'd like to see more of him socially. If he's into it, he'll let you know. If he acts confused, pretend that he misunderstood you because of the crowd noise.

Steve: Take a deep breath and relax. Begin with the idea of having more contact with him as a friend. Meet for coffee or chat on the phone. If he's interested in picking up the ball and running, you'll know soon enough. If he doesn't respond, then he's probably not interested.

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Steve (not his real name) is 50-something and has been married to his second wife for 20 years. Mia (not her real name) is a 20-something single immersed in the Center City dating scene. If you want answers to your romantic troubles, e-mail them at S&M@phillynews.com or write: S&M, c/o Daily News, Box 7788, Philadelphia, Pa. 19101.