Growing up, you are always encouraged to have great expectations.

For your life goals. For work. For yourself.

Expectations drive your ambitions, and push you forward in life.

But in the dating world, high expectations don't always work out.

They can hurt you, surprise you, and even leave you in such a stressed state you need a straitjacket.

I went on a blind date once. Met this woman on CraigsList, and we chatted online a bit. We clicked on several topics, and she laughed at my quips (at least she wrote LOL; who knows if she really laughed out loud. Perhaps nobody does when they write that.) We agreed to meet for a drink that night on the beach.

Judging from the flow of the e-mail conversation, I thought that this could be a promising start that could lead to more dates. She even agreed to let me drive over and pick her up, and usually that's not typical of a first date.

So naturally, my expectations were high. She could be a keeper.

And like clockwork, the alarm sounded when she came downstairs and walked over to my car.

Tall. Wild hair. Looked like Charles Barkley with a wig. Needed help zipping up her size 14 dress right after we met face-to-giant.

Expectations shattered.

When you go into something with low expectations - and I don't mean settling for less, just not expecting an amazing discovery - things seem to work out great.

Twice more I went on blind dates, including one in which I took a flight to Tampa to meet a woman without seeing her photo. We had become good friends on a Web site for "newly single" people - ojar.com - and had shared a lot about our experiences. (More on this encounter another time).

Both times, I figured out my escape plan before the date started. You know, the "What do I do if this does not turn out good" plan. And wouldn't you know it, I was pleasantly surprised each time. Conversation was great. Things clicked. And I made a new friend.

A reader, John, recently sent me an e-mail regarding expectations when dating in Miami.

He quoted the proverb "Expectation is the first step toward disappointment" (a proverb that I couldn't confirm on Google, but it sounds pretty good, doesn't it?).

"When I do go on a date I'm not expecting anything to happen," John wrote. "It's just meeting a new friend and that's all."

Isn't that the truth? When you least expect to find a partner, one seems to find you. But when you go looking, you never find one.

As English poet Alexander Pope wrote, "Blessed is the man who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed."

Contact Fred Gonzalez at fgonzalez@MiamiHerald.com.