For this week's go and do, dear readers, we bring you (drum roll, please): nowhere.

That's right - you heard me.

Weekends are awesome, really. Picking up and driving to the coast to go stick your feet in some salt water, heading for the hills to ski or hike, taking classes, painting, driving a car fast around a track, paddling a little playboat down the Kennebec . . .

Awesome, that is, until it hits you: You've been going for seven weeks straight. That pile of laundry is starting to grow legs and the inside of your fridge looks like the Earth two hours after Armageddon. Your car needs an oil change, every light bulb in your bathroom needs to be changed, there's a pile of recycling threatening to fall on top of you in the back hall, you're out of stamps and you still haven't thought up anything for Mother's Day, which, at last count, is exactly two weeks away.

Everybody needs a weekend at home sooner or later. Especially now that gas is hovering around $3.50 a gallon and seems poised to keep going up well into the summer. Frankly, many of us can't afford to do like we used to and spend the weekends boppin' about the countryside having adventures. Sure, nighttimes are the same as ever - good music, easy food and lots of laughs. But what about the days? You've got to have some fun amid all the chores, right?

So in honor of the coming summer and our tight budgets, we put together a list of quick, inexpensive, local stuff to do on a weekend afternoon - both indoors and out. We surely didn't hit them all, so if you've got tips let us all know.

Bowling: You might bowl a lot, in which case you don't need the suggestion. Me, on the other hand? My bowling experience consisted, until several weeks ago, of a few fifth-grade birthday parties and one or two family nights, before discovering the inestimable joys of "veto power." But recently some friends dragged me bowling (for a cause - that's the only way they convinced me to go) one Saturday afternoon, where I discovered my aim was still terrible, my scores still hovered below 50 and, even so, bowling can be a lot of fun. After a long week of office work, it can be therapeutic to hear heavy balls crack against pins. And it's fun. Competitive folks can be competitive. Sillier ones can just laugh at each other's bad bowls and tell jokes. Both the Lewiston and the Lisbon outfits serve food, and Lewiston also offers drinks. Other pros: It's pretty inexpensive and more active than watching movies (see this week's b cover if you're not feeling active).

Billiards: Now, pool playing is usually relegated to nighttimes in my experience, but there are lots of reasons to use billiards as a daytime chore-breaker, too. Local spots are open during the afternoon, and many tend to be empty enough that 1.) no one will see how bad you are, (or good, if you're trying to become a pool shark); 2.) you won't have to wait for a table, and; 3.) you can move around without bumping into anybody. All good things, in my book.

The various incarnations of golf: Sure, you can play real golf if you wanna. But even when there's no time for 18 holes, there are loads of places to go get that fuzzy golfing feeling without the time - or the expense.

• In L-A, both Roy's All Steak Hamburgers and Taber's have driving ranges - which can be a lot of fun if you're at all interested in actually playing a game of golf at some point - and they both have mini golf courses. Roy's has batting cages, as well. What's so great about mini golf, you ask? Well, like bowling, it's cheap and fast - you really only need an hour or so, if that's all you've got. It's fun. Anybody can do it; no skill or prior experience is necessary to have a good time (unlike actual golf). Being really bad makes it funnier, while being really good means you can be hyper-competitive with your friends.

• B did a whole story on disc golf last summer. It's a bit more exercise than mini golf, and takes a little longer, but still fits the "Saturday afternoon with nothing to do" bill.

• But if you're not in the mood for that, or the weather's bad, there's always virtual golf, at Mulligan's Indoor Golf and Pub. I haven't tried it yet, but I hear it's a blast. Who knew - Mulligan's even has tournaments, for people who get the bug.

We couldn't hit every spot - if we missed your favorite, let us know!

• Spare-Time Recreation

24 Mollison Way, Lewiston - 786-2695

• Good Time Lanes (Candlepin)

671 Lisbon St., Lisbon Falls - 353-8681

• Schemengees Billiards

551 Lincoln St., Lewiston - 777-1155

• Fast Breaks Restaurant

1465 Lisbon St., Lewiston - 782-3305

• Rack M Up

128 Center St., Auburn - 514-7080

• Roy's All Steak Hamburgers and Golf Center

2514 Turner Road, Auburn - 782-2801

• Taber's Lakeside Stand

473 Lake Shore Drive, Auburn - 784-2521

• Mulligan's Indoor Golf and Pub

1035 Lisbon St., Lewiston - 777-1997

(for more, visit:

http://www.sunjournal.com/story/222764-3/bsection/Youve_got_to_try_it_Disc_golf/)

• Dragan Field Disc Golf

436 Foster Road, Auburn - 786-4900

• Campbell Highlands Disc Golf

176 Witham Road, Auburn - 777-1400