Talk of the town: Clowning around on Walnut Street

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Sun Journal staff writer Mark LaFlamme is transformed into Bow the clown at the Shrine Circus.

Pop goes my bladder

There’s a total misconception out there that I’m afraid of clowns. It is to laugh! I am not afraid of clowns. Not even a little bit. It would be absurd. A clown is just a walking, talking person wearing too much makeup. Even the most deviant clown can be dealt with. Now ice cream trucks, on the other hand, those are terrifying. Who of sound mind is NOT afraid of ice cream trucks. That music? Those horrific ice cream cones with faces painted on them? The music again? I just screamed a little bit. Hold me.

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Toys R Us

Has filed for bankruptcy. How much do you want to bet that in court papers, they spelled “bankruptcy” with a backwards R? Because even in hard financial times, it’s all about the fun.

Swing and a miss

There’s a video going around on Facebook of a NSFW fight between a group of men and women on Walnut Street in Lewiston. I’m not saying there was alcohol involved in this one, but most of the people who landed on the ground got there without throwing or taking a single punch. One guy manages to hang on to his cigarette throughout the entire thing, although several 24-ounce cans of beer are carefully set aside. I got the bed spins just watching this clip. Total waste of my pay-per-view dollars.

Bow your heads

Upon a ninth viewing of the above video, it appears that at least two of the beer cans did not survive the scrape. It’s tragic. How many beers have to be spilled before we learn to love each other?

So funny I forgot to laugh

I had a nice joke ready comparing the Walnut Street fight and the flap over the Lewiston-Auburn merger, but since I’m occasionally asked to cover that issue I need to refrain from telling it. Trust me, though, it was wicked funny.

HoHoPocalypse

A reader reports spotting a man in a Santa hat sitting in a black pickup truck at Lewiston’s KFC. My friends, how much more proof do you need that these are the End Times?

“IT”

Although I ultimately thought this movie was a massive fail – it relied way too much on CGI effects instead of letting the scares occur naturally – I thought the clown was fantastic. There was real menace there. It made me think of the one time I donned the clown makeup for the Kora Shrine Circus. Talk about unsettling. It was me and my plastic nose on one side, about a thousand narrow-eyed children sizing me up on the other. Seriously, who’s the scary one in that setting? I would have fled to the sewers in fright, but it’s really hard to run in those ginormous shoes.

Lawrence O’Donnell

So, the MSNBC host was revealed in a leaked video clip screeching and hollering about hammering in the studio and voices in his head. I can’t stand O’Donnell, whom I consider just another overrated shill for corporate media, but I’d be guilty of wicked sanctimony if I made much of the leaked video. Reporting is tense business, yo. I have at least one outburst of this caliber ever day I’m on the job. Although in my defense, I’m usually alone at the time – some days, I can bang out my daily tantrum before I’m even all the way out of bed. Because I’m a professional.

Snort

Wow, that Walnut Street fight/merger joke is funny. It’s quite possibly the funniest thing you’ve ever heard. Pity I can’t tell it.

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