Talk of the town


I see London, I see France

Remember last week when I told you about the pair of suit coats I found in the woods behind Tall Pines? Member? You ‘member. Anyway, I thought it might have had something to do with the rapture, but that stupid idea went up in smoke along with the rest of my afterworld dreams. So, anyway, I was riding out in that area again over the weekend and guess what’s hanging on a tree branch now with those suit coats? That’s right, brother. A soggy pair of boxer shorts, dripping paisley onto the forest floor. I don’t know what’s going on out there by the Androscoggin River, but man, it looks like fun.

Marijuana dispensary

I got the opportunity to take a tour of the building. It’s a real nice joint they’ve got there.

Rapture 2.0

We should have known it wasn’t the real thing because our local Rev. Doug Taylor didn’t weigh in on it. What’s up with that?

Rural areas see biggest rise in crime

You know why that is? Lewiston is too scary. Even the crooks don’t dare to be here. We’re bad ass.

Good Humor in Lovell

You ever notice how nothing good ever happens when you strip naked, get into a dump truck and drive to South Berwick? My favorite part of this story is the fact that after allegedly ramming the house, the naked dude tried to pick a fight with the man who lives there. How do you square off in the nude? Most guys know instinctively that there is no way to look tough with Mr. Softee representing.

Oprah calls it quits

Boy, I’ll be PO’d if NOW she buys one of my books and mutters quietly to herself: “Wow. That was quite good.”

And your little dog, too

I’m told that somebody, somewhere is making a new adaptation of “The Wizard of Oz.” This troubles me. As a boy, the sight of Dorothy in black and white on a crappy, 13-inch television screen caused me a week’s worth of the sweats. What is going to happen to me if suddenly she is there in high-definition 3-D? I may be out for a while.

We are the world

Obama meets with Queen and bumps elbows with Prince. That must have been a hell of a Journey. Wish I had a photograph. (If that makes no sense to you at all, go watch a Molly Ringwald movie, young stuff.)