It has come to my attention that stud photographer Daryn Slover was recently mistaken for me in a local grocery store. My thoughts on this are: Ha ha ha! How’d you enjoy that? Fortunately, it was one of the nice grocery store people, not one of the let-me-walk-you-to-you-car-and-follow-you-home-so-I-can-tell-you-all-about-how-I’m-paying-too-much-child-support types.
What you suffer after watching two days of the New Year’s Twilight Zone marathon. You end up looking, acting and feeling like Burgess Meredith. And let’s not forget that Mr. Meredith has been dead for 15 years.
That’s how many episodes I watched over the holiday. I’m having a real productive 2013 so far.
You know what’s funny about the recent stretch of cold weather? Every time you walk out in it, you have to act surprised, as if it was a nice 65 degrees just minutes before. “Wow!” you shriek, the very second you leave the warm office. “Is it ever COLD out here!” And everybody within earshot nods in agreement as though they, too, expected beach weather when they walked outside. We really are a funny breed.
Born in sin, come on in
Many of you whom I’ve met outdoors have made note of the fact that in my new pea coat, watch cap and boots, I quite resemble Andre Linoge of “Storm of the Century” fame. I assure you this is purely coincidental. It’s not like I went out and bought a coat, hat, gloves and boots just to look like the Sinister One. That’s absurd. Also, the cane with the wolf’s head handle. I use that because my knee hurts or something.
Open mic night
On Wednesday, a local police officer accidentally left his mic open while he was having a private chat. An increasingly wary dispatcher kept calling out to alert the cop to the fact, but did he notice? Nossir, he did not. The conversation went on and on for a minute or more. Great fun. I’d tool on the poor cop some more over this transgression but sadly, the same thing happened to me once with the portable newsroom radio. Needless to say, it completely ruined what had been a wonderful, private moment. Or it completely enhanced it. I don’t recall which way it went.
F. Lee Bailey has been denied the right to practice law in Maine. At least that’s the official story. The truth of the matter is, Bailey saw that commercial with the scowling local lawyers and their baseball bats and he flat chickened out. And who can blame him?