Woman seeks help with her life

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DEAR ABBY: My roommate, “Jeff,” and I got into a huge fight last week and he kicked me out. My mother took me in and said if I ever moved back in with him, she’d “disown” me.

While I was living with my mother, I had trouble finding employment. While I was with Jeff, I received offers of employment from no less than three companies.

I have spoken with Jeff since the incident. He apologized and wishes I’d move back in. He realizes he acted like an idiot.

I would like to move back with him so that I can have a job, but I don’t want to make my mother angry. Also, I don’t think that living with her is healthy for me right now. Please advise ASAP. – “PAMELA” IN CLEVELAND

DEAR “PAMELA”:
While it may not be “healthy” to live with your mother right now, moving back in with a roommate who kicks you out when he loses his temper does not seem like a wise move either. You did not make clear why you can’t take the job(s) you were offered and live with her. If the problem is geographic, perhaps you should explore what other arrangements you can manage, because you have no guarantee that Jeff would not evict you repeatedly. The goal to aim for is to be independent, able to stand on your own two feet, and beholden to no one.

DEAR ABBY: I lost my wife, “Vicki,” six months ago. She was the love of my life, and it was unexpected. I am raising our two children, ages 5 and 8, by myself.

I now understand why so many women say they have a hard time finding someone special.What does a widower have to do to find someone special when he has kids? – MR. LONELY IN DETROIT

DEAR MR. LONELY:
Please accept my deepest sympathy for the loss of your wife. I’m sure she won’t be easily replaced. The first thing to do is start from square one and remember that dating is a hit-and-miss proposition, and few people hit the jackpot the first time. You will find a special someone in places where nice people congregate.

In your case, it might be during kids’ activities at school and church, or the PTA. There is also an organization called Parents Without Partners that has been around for a long time. The membership is largely female.Contact it by logging onto www.parentswithoutpartners.org, or by calling the toll-free phone number, (800) 637-7974, for the location of a chapter near you.

DEAR ABBY: I see my hairdresser every four weeks to have my hair colored.

I used to be a chestnut brunette, but time has taken its toll. My problem is, she doesn’t always take the dark color off my face around the hairline. I always thought it was done when the color was shampooed out, but today I had to go back to work after my appointment and one of my co-workers pointed it out. I don’t want to change hairdressers because she gives me a great cut and style. Isn’t taking the hair color off the skin a normal part of this procedure? – RING AROUND THE FACE

DEAR RING:
It certainly is. I don’t know whether your hairdresser was rushed, ran out of tint-remover or was having a bad day, but part of the service is to make sure the customer leaves without any telltale traces of “work” having been done. You should definitely speak to her about it, because her work was substandard.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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