Courtney Love was sentenced Thursday to three years’ probation after pleading no contest in Los Angeles Superior Court to a misdemeanor count of assault with a deadly weapon.

Love, who also agreed to anger management counseling and random drug testing, was charged in connection with an April ‘04 incident during which she found a 32-year-old woman sleeping on her boyfriend’s couch and threw a liquor bottle at her before chasing her with another deadly weapon – a flashlight.

Love, 40, was also expected to appear in Beverly Hills Superior Court on Thursday for a pretrial hearing on two felony drug charges, but her attorney, Howard Weitzman, said they will also be “disposed” of in a similar plea agreement. Those charges stem from a bizarre Oct. ‘03 incident in which Love allegedly tried to break into an ex-boyfriend’s house.

– Knight Ridder Newspapers
A ‘Newlyweds’ mess

Is there trouble in that halcyon haven known as the Jessica Simpson-Nick Lachey marriage? If you can believe the circumstantial evidence, things can’t be all that peachy.

Take the photos the tabloids ran showing Nick surrounded by a bevy of hot cheerleaders at a Super Bowl party in Jacksonville, Fla. Or news that Nick recently had dinner with his ex-girlfriend Jordana Jarjura.

It gets worse. The New York Daily News says that an ostensibly flirty Nick gave out his cell phone number to “a gorgeous blond and brunette” at ESPN Magazine’s Super Bowl party. Turns out the brunette is the News’ own gossiper, Jo Piazza, and the blonde is her best bud.

Yet the made-for-TV couple – almost convincing in their simulation of married people on MTV’s “Newlyweds” – insist there is nothing prurient about Nick’s behavior.

“I trust Nick totally, and he trusts me,” Jess totally tells Us Weekly mag. “We are committed to our relationship.”

They’d better be: Their little TV liaison is their bread and butter.

– Knight Ridder Newspapers
6 minutes less of ‘Passion’

Mel Gibson has acquiesced to the tastes of more squeamish citizens by making a new cut of his stupendously successful “The Passion of the Christ,” sans six minutes of violence. According to Variety, the new version, informatively titled “The Passion Recut,” will open March 11 on 500 to 750 screens.

– Knight Ridder Newspapers
Ashlee to aid eBay benefit

Untold joy as news comes that now we can all help alleged singer Ashlee Simpson give back to the world – without having to suffer her twittering warble.

The beneficent Ash, 20, has joined forces with Teen People mag to sponsor an eBay auction to benefit UNICEF’s relief efforts for victims of the Dec. 26 Asian tsunami.

“The tsunami and its aftermath have affected everyone, and I couldn’t imagine sitting silent and not doing anything to help,” Ash says, only six weeks after the historic disaster.

The auction includes phone calls from celebs such as Shane West and Chad Michael Murray of One Tree Hill, concert tix for New Found Glory and the indomitable Ash herself, plus autographed merchandise from sis Jessica Simpson, Good Charlotte and Nicky Hilton.

– Knight Ridder Newspapers
‘Housewife’: I’m not gay

Marcia Cross has responded to tabloid rumors that she is a lesbian about to “come out” in gay mag the Advocate. The “Desperate Housewives” star guest-hosted gab show “The View,” telling no less esteemed a journalist than famed celeb adulator Barbara Walters that she supports the gay and lesbian community, but is decidedly not gay

– Knight Ridder Newspapers
Tabs go crazy over Brad Pitt’s new gal pal

The vultures are circling around the fresh blood on the tracks running through the Brad Pitt-Jennifer Aniston quagmire, with the tabs going crazy over a link between Brad and 23-year-old April Florio, a model who hails from Sinking Spring, just outside Reading, Pa.

London’s Daily Express reports that Brad and April were introduced last summer by the actor’s “Ocean’s Twelve” costar George Clooney, and that the pair were spotted together this week in Lalaland. Whether the duo bore a demeanor signifying actual courtship remains a mystery.

The New York Daily News says April has vamoosed to Alaska to flee the publicity. We feel for the Maxim model: At this rate, every woman Pitt greets and any man estranged wife Jen looks at will be subject to speculation.

– Knight Ridder Newspapers
Splitsville for Caruso, wife

David Caruso, the studly Lt. Horatio Caine – or “H.” to his buds – on CBS’ mildly inferior “CSI” spinoff, “CSI: Miami,” is splitting from his wife of eight years.

Margaret Caruso has filed for divorce in L.A. Superior Court, citing that catchall reason of reasons, irreconcilable differences. The couple have no kids.

– Knight Ridder Newspapers