DEAR ABBY: Not long ago you wrote a column that mentioned funny names that match people’s occupations. I am submitting two more: Prior to our wedding, my husband and I had the state-required blood tests. They were administered by a Dr. Fix. (We later read that Dr. Fix was caught giving himself one, and was arrested on drug charges.) The minister who married us was aptly named Dr. Comfort. – ANN B., ARCHER, FLA.

DEAR ANN: Thanks for a “Fixer”-upper of a letter. It arrived with a bushel of mail from other readers offering names that match occupations. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: One of my dearest friends is a professional landscaper of golf courses, highways and schools. His name? Ross Weed! – BONNIE G. CHAPIN, S.C.

DEAR ABBY: The first time I took my grandchildren to their doctor, their regular physician was on vacation. The doctor who was filling in for him was named Dr. Needle. I kid you not. – THERESA S., SPARROW BUSH, N.Y.

DEAR ABBY: When I was in college, the disciplinary dean’s name was Dick Justice. – BRIAN S., NAPERVILLE, ILL.

DEAR ABBY: While I was serving at the Marine Corps Schools in Quantico, Va., my best friend took me with him when he had his vasectomy. His physician’s name was Dr. D. Nutter. – PAT M., DALLAS

DEAR ABBY: There is a dentist here in my city whose hygienist’s last name is Toothacher. – GLEN IN TEXAS

DEAR ABBY: In Portland, Ore., where I reside, there are three orthodontists: Dr. Payne, Dr. Fear and Dr. Rensch (pronounced “Wrench”)!

DEAR ABBY: I swear this is true: When I visited my first gynecologist when I was in college (the University of Massachusetts at Amherst), his name was Dr. Clapp. – V. COOK, BLUE HILL, MAINE

DEAR ABBY: My father, mother and sister all see the same psychiatrist, and have for more than 15 years. His name is Dr. Looney. Seriously. – READER IN HUNTSVILLE, TEXAS


DEAR READER: I’d say Dr. Looney is running a family practice.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.


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