1 p.m., ESPN2

They used to hold this thing in a conference call. I’m sad to say I participated one year.

NBA’s Greatest Games: 1990, Bulls vs. Celtics

3 p.m., ESPN Classic

Even though his career already jumped the shark, Larry Bird scored 38. Even though he’d yet to sell one pair of skivvies, Michael Jordan answered with 34. Better than any live NBA game you will see this year.

International Fight League, Pitbulls vs. Red Bears

4 p.m., FSNE

(Grumpy voice) Kid, back in my day, all we got to watch on a Wednesday afternoon were these damned Afterschool Specials – and we were thankful!

PGA: Press Conference

5 p.m., The Golf Channel

‘Cause the only thing more exciting than watching Chris DiNardo play The Masters is watching him sit in a $50,000, gold-plated chair and talk about playing The Masters.

MLB: Red Sox at Royals

8 p.m., NESN

Hopefully Jonathan Papelbon gets to pitch. He’s the only guy who didn’t get to leave the bullpen Monday.

NBA: Celtics at Bucks

8 p.m., FSNE

Up in heaven, happily, Red is excused from watching this wretched game.

MLB: Mets at Cardinals

8 p.m., ESPN2

World champion St. Louis proved last year that the regular season is meaningless. As an encore, they plan to stay in last place until Tony LaRussa gets his driver’s license back.

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