2 p.m., NESN

No, really. A day game. On a Friday afternoon. I excrement you not.

Davis Cup tennis, Spain at U.S.

2 p.m., VS.

He might be Roger Federer’s punk, but at least Andy Roddick never weasels out of playing for his country.

Beyond the Glory: The Designated Hitter

3 p.m., FSNE

Redefining “glory.” Kind of like when VH1 put The Carpenters on “Behind the Music.”

The Masters, second round

4 p.m., USA

Hootie Johnson channeling Judge Smails: “You’ll get none of the front nine and like it!”

UEFA Cup Soccer: Tottenham at Sevilla

5 p.m., Fox Sports Channel

Because we care. Deeply. About a good excuse to pop open a Warsteiner.

NBA: Heat at Celtics

7:30 p.m., FSNE

With Greg Oden wearing green, the Vegas spread would drop from 35 points to 28.

MLB: Mets at Braves

7:30 p.m., TBS

All the money of Red Sox-Yankees with one-tenth the passion.

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