Russell Crowe walked the streets of Sydney this week and handed out 1,000 tickets to a game involving the Australian rugby team he owns. The sound you just heard was Jon Bon Jovi crying because he can’t even give away Arena Football tickets.

And he’s still employed

Don Imus described the Rutgers women’s basketball team as “rough looking with tattoos” and “some nappy-headed hos” on his radio show this week. Wow, guess I feel better for merely saying the women’s Final Four sucked.

Cuts like Delilah

Convicted drug dealer Samson Sor Siriporn knocked out Ayaka Miyano to win the WBC women’s light flyweight title in a Bangkok prison. Corrections officers expect Siriporn to be paroled three years early as a result of her win. And you thought NFL and NBA stars received preferential treatment.

Pacman fever

NFL commissioner Roger Goodell has enlisted a council of veteran players to advise him on player conduct and other issues. Can’t (Cincinnati Bengals) imagine (Pacman Jones) why (Tank Johnson).

Horse sense

Because their fund is nearly broke, 58 disabled former jockeys aren’t expected to receive their $1,000 checks in April. Didn’t the once-recovering Barbaro used to eat 58K in a week?

King for a day

Ron Artest read a book and discussed the importance of staying in school with first-graders in Sacramento, Calif., this week. He noted that education is especially important when you’re one more misdemeanor away from getting your ass kicked out of the NBA and your rap career made Gerardo look like an industry giant.

Plunk you very much

A.J. Pierzynski was hit by a Roberto Hernandez pitch with the bases loaded in the ninth inning Thursday to give the White Sox a 4-3 win over the Indians. On a happier note, Roberto Hernandez hit A.J. Pierzynski. Lucky guy.

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