The Celtics have quit Sebastian Telfair.

OK, so this walking, talking, misfiring argument for the NBA’s new minimum-age requirement isn’t exactly harder to give up than chocolate, fried cheese or grog.

It was a moronic trade in the first place. Even though the No. 7 overall pick in last year’s draft was the generic equivalent of a box of rocks, Portland should be charged with felony theft for getting anyone this side of Joe Barry Carroll in return for the vastly overrated Telfair.

Telfair’s numbers tell the tale of a desperate, fringe player on a team desperately trying to lose whenever possible: 78 games; 30 starts; 20.2 minutes, 6.1 points and 2.8 assists per night.

Throwing Sea Bass back into the water doesn’t bother me, but this continuing rush to clean up professional sports by administering the death penalty before a player has experienced due process does.

I know, the 21-year-old Telfair has a minor track record. He’s no Pacman Jones or Chris Henry, though.

In 2006, Telfair was questioned (not charged) for carrying a handgun on the Trail Blazers’ team plane. He was also questioned in October after attending a nightclub and having a $50,000 necklace stolen on the same night a rapper was shot.

Not exactly stuff you’d include on your membership application to the Fellowship of Christian Athletes, but not the thug life that scares the bejeebers out of us sheltered country folk, either.

This time, Telfair was charged with felony second-degree weapons possession after a loaded handgun was discovered in his vehicle during a traffic stop. Telfair’s attorney says the gun and SUV are registered to the player’s common law wife.

Look, Telfair grew up in Brooklyn. He is rich. He foots the bill for heaven knows how many hangers-on. If I walked in his sneakers, I might be inclined to carry a gun, too. Just sayin’.

And yes, in a sports town notoriously slow to warm up to minority athletes, the Celtics’ fast break to judgment smacks of racism.

The recent Duke debacle aside, has any other white athlete been waived or suspended indefinitely within hours of an alleged discretion?

A few years back, Green Bay Packers tight end Mark Chmura retired under allegations of rape that were later discredited. But he quit willingly due to mounting injuries. You think Chewy would’ve been sent packing based on a sheer accusation when he was a 26-year-old Pro Bowler? Riiiiight.

You think the Celtics will learn from this episode and make better evaluations of talent and character before signing on the dotted line? Wronnnnnng.

**Oakes will hit clean-up every day this week. Randy Whitehouse is due to return to the platoon shortly.