Our fellow get-a-lifers at Elias Sports Bureau report that this year’s Yankees are the first team since the 1955 Cardinals to have three starting pitchers make their major league debut this early in a season. The ’55 Birds went 68-86. Life is beautiful.


Golden State Warriors guard Monta Ellis has been named the NBA’s Most Improved Player. Nice way of saying, “You stunk in 2005-06. Way to show up, big guy.” Still a better honor than Most Diminished Skills, though.

R skool is rt 4 u

The NCAA officially banned text-message recruiting Thursday. Probably keeps the coaches honest. Too bad it will eliminate some of the best writing a few “student-athletes” will ever undertake.

Right line of work

Jason Cook, who spent six years in prison for manslaughter after a bar fight, made his professional boxing debut Friday. He’s still one self-defense killing and a gubernatorial pardon away from tying Don King.

Pays not to play

The top six players in the women’s tennis rankings have not entered a tournament this month. Good to see that once they started getting close to equal money, they learned how to take as much time off as the men.

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