Chalk up another fabulous life lesson, delivered by adults who should know better. This one makes a mockery of the simplest element in all our lives and careers: Showing up on time.

Falmouth High School arrived 35 minutes late for its appointed 4:30 p.m. softball playoff game at Lisbon. Factoring in the need for shaking off bus legs and taking batting practice and infield, you can consider the Yachtsmen an hour-and-a-half behind schedule.

Bomb threat? Family emergency? Bus breakdown? Nope. It turns out Falmouth (excuse me while I wipe up the coffee that I just inadvertently ejected from my nose for the third time since hearing this story) took the bus to Livermore Falls before figuring out that its destination was, oh, merely AN ENTIRE COUNTY OFF.

Never mind that I could get from Falmouth to Lisbon in a half-hour while staunchly obeying the posted speed limit in a hybrid car.

Not knowing whom you’re supposed to play in an elimination game is the unpardonable sin. It shows a flagrant lack of respect for your opponent. For your own team, too, when you factor in three months preparation under the specter of myriad miserable weather conditions.

Oh, but the story gets more delicious. Upon its arrival, Falmouth got in a batting practice. Sources say the team took umbrage at 5:25 when the umpires informed them that a quick infield session was out of the question. That crew had adult evening games to officiate. Little Leaguers were waiting for the field, too.

And to make matters worse, Falmouth won, 1-0, over a Lisbon team that sat around twiddling its thumbs and inhaling pollen all afternoon. That set up a Thursday quarterfinal at Lake Region.

The school on the Naples-Bridgton town line is one of Falmouth’s league rivals. Let’s hope someone was stationed in Winthrop to point the wandering visitors in the right direction, though, just in case.

This isn’t even the first time this year that a preliminary host had to wait out such irresponsibility. In February, Traip Academy of Kittery traveled all the way to Sidney before figuring out that actual opponent Monmouth and Messalonskee were different schools.

More good reasons to station Border Patrol agents in Gray and Topsham, since these Greater Bostonians think of us as an extension of Canada and obviously never travel here.

I know it’s an era of constrained athletic budgets, but could our elite Falmouth friends trouble themselves to stop at Wal-Mart or Big Lots and plunk down a couple Benjamins for a basic GPS?

The Mountain Valley Conference bourgeois thanks you profusely for your consideration.


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