There once was a doctor, very funny, named Seuss
Who wrote about elephants, a Grinch, cat and moose
And after his passing, some tales went to buyers
With deals in their fists for Jim Carrey, Mike Myers
They had pots of effects, and huge piles of money
They had lots of stars and they thought they’d be funny
Except the films made had no touch of the magic
The pictures were sad – well, in fact they were tragic
They made the sets ugly and super expensive
The high points were few and the lows quite extensive
The new “Cat in the Hat” looked puffy and creepy
The “Grinch” made us feel at once cranky and sleepy
Until some new producer, and boy, this was smart
Said “Then why don’t we try this – let’s use the Doc’s art!
Forget the bad makeup, the guest stars so dated
We could sketch them all, and just go animated!”
And so the elephant Horton, faithful and true
Now arrives on the screen, just as Dr. Seuss drew
Along with the Whos, and the Wickersham brothers
The nasty bird, kangaroo and all the others
And while the cartooning is now super high-tech
Even true-blue Seuss fans can’t dismiss it as dreck
It’s kept close to his style and his sense, charm and wit
It stays true to his memory (well, most of it)
Horton’s nose is prodigious, his ears flap like tents
The Whos are all charming, their inventions immense
If there’s a nit we must pick (and oh, yes we must)
It’s that the Doc’s plot the new scribes do not quite trust
There are jokes about Kissinger, old-movie pokes
Will anyone get these except fifty-ish folks?
And the moral is laid on a little too thick
Where Doctor Seuss used a feather – they use a brick
And yet past the poor puns, and not-so-great choices
There are still some nice pics, and spectacular voices
Including Jim Carrey (again) as dear Horton
And even Seth Rogen as scaredy-mouse Morton
Plus frazzled Steve Carell as the mayor of the Whos
And Carol Burnett as the most mirthless of ‘roos
This Horton is silly (in mad love with his ears)
And Carrey is funny, for the first time in years
He’s not wrapped in ego, or painful pretension
Or “singing” with body parts too crude to mention
Instead he just voices this most marvelous beast
Who has respect for everyone, even the least
And that’s a lesson worth teaching, to one and all
That a person’s a person, no matter how small
And a motto moguls should take some time learning
If they’d like their movies to finally be earning
For it’s not the cash that makes a prize of the art
But the warmth of the tale, and the size of the heart
(Rated G. There’s nothing here to scare even the small, and Jim Carrey’s jokes are scrubbed clean for all.)
Film clip:
“HORTON HEARS A WHO!” The sensitive pachyderm gets a feature-length movie that – finally, after the misfire live-action adaptations of “The Cat in the Hat” and “The Grinch” – opts for animation instead, and sticks closely to the look of the original Dr. Seuss art. Apart from a few “updates” that actually feel dated (An “Apocalypse Now” joke? Really?), it’s fast, fun family entertainment, nicely voiced by Jim Carrey, Steve Carell and (glad to have her back) Carol Burnett. The film contains nothing to offend. Rated G. Running time: 88 minutes. THREE STARS
Stephen Whitty is film critic for The Star-Ledger of Newark, N.J. He can be contacted at swhitty@starledger.com.
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