It wasn’t the first gray hair or when I started driving a Buick LeSabre. The moment I began to feel old was the first time I got up off the couch, walked six steps into the kitchen and had no idea why I went in there.

It happens once a month right now, and I’m certain the frequency will increase. But it’s still a bit embarrassing, so I’ll try to make it look good, especially if I have company over.

I’ll open the refrigerator door and stare inside for 20 seconds. If I don’t find what I might be after in there, I’ll open cupboard after cupboard, trying to jog my memory. I’ll sort through the mail, look at the calendar and make sure there’s nothing burning in the oven. Sometimes, if I think my guests are on to me, I’ll walk into the bathroom, close the door, stand there for a minute, maybe go through the medicine cabinet, then flush.

I haven’t had one of these senior moments when I get into my car, yet. But if it does happen, it wouldn’t be so bad if it happened this weekend. If I can at least remember it’s Friday or Saturday, I’ll know I’m supposed to be headed for a football game. And I’ll also know that it doesn’t matter whether I turn right or left out of my driveway, I’ll probably come across a pretty good one.

I could start by heading up the Route 4 corridor Friday night. A right turn in Turner and I’ll find the Pine Tree Conference Class B playoffs kicking off at Leavitt High School. The Hornets are hosting rival Oak Hill, and while the game is a match-up of the No. 1 and No. 8 seeds, it’s not your typical 1-8 game. These two teams know each other better than Greg Oden knows his orthopedist. It’s fitting that this is being played on Halloween, because the Hornets look at the Raiders like you would a trick-or-treater who toilet paper’s your yard after you give him a box of raisins.

Maybe if I leave early enough, I can make it to Rumford instead. For the third year in a row, Mountain Valley and Cape Elizabeth go into their regular-season finale both undefeated and playing for home field advantage in the playoffs. The home team has each of the previous two times. Unlike the last two meetings, however, there won’t be any cameras and boom mikes bobbing up and down the sidelines. I think I speak for everyone else trying to watch a football game when I say, thank you.

If I forget to take a left on to Route 108, and you know I probably will, I can just follow the river on up to Livermore Falls, where the Andies and Jay Tigers will hook up for the 76th time. And for about the 66th time, the game will have more than rivalry implications. The fourth and final spot in the Campbell Conference is on the line this year.

Saturday offers just as many opportunities to get lost, but at least I’ll be closer to home. The football fanatic in me is salivating over the triple-header that awaits.

Lisbon host unbeaten Winthrop early in the afternoon. It’s not a playoff game, but it has playoff implications. If Lisbon wins, we’ll have a three-way tie for first place in the Campbell Conference. Sorry folks, the Crabtrees can’t help you out of this pickle. We may know who our next president is going to be before we know who has home field advantage in the Campbell Conference.

The mid-afternoon tilt will be at Walton Field. I was happy to hear Edward Little scheduled its PTC playoff with Messalonskee for 3 p.m. Saturday. There are few better places for an autumn afternoon of football than Walton. Nice field. Nice neighborhood. It takes me back to my childhood, parts of which I remember more clearly than yesterday’s breakfast.

The nightcap is in Lewiston, where the Blue Devils face Bangor for the 123rd straight post-season. It’s like the Red Sox vs. the Angels, only you don’t have to listen to Chip Caray for six or seven nights. It may be the best game of the weekend. Not a bad way to cap it off and get fired up for next week.

Unfortunately, one of the few bad things about getting paid to watch football is I can’t just go to whatever game I feel like. My boss expects me to be in Turner, Lisbon and Lewiston this weekend. So if you see me in Rumford or Livermore Falls Friday night or Auburn on Saturday, please turn me around and point me south.

Maybe you can help me find my car while you’re at it.