DEAR ABBY: Several years ago, I realized that my mother’s eyesight and
reflexes weren’t what they once were, but she insisted on remaining behind the
wheel. She was afraid of losing her independence if she gave up driving. Then
she had a traffic accident that shook her enough to make her finally relinquish
her keys — but she wasn’t happy about it.

The solution I came up with was to sell her car, put the money in an
interest-bearing account, and contract with a local cab company to have a taxi
at mom’s assisted-living facility whenever she needed transportation. Instead of
billing her, they would send me an itemized statement and add a 20 percent
gratuity, so mom wouldn’t have to worry about tipping.

In addition, they also agreed to carry mother’s packages and groceries to her
door, and if she’d be less than a half-hour at her destination, the cab would
wait for her. The company even agreed to use only three drivers, so Mom could
get to know them.

When I visited her for dinner soon after these arrangements were made, I
learned she was the hit of her assisted-living facility! Other residents told me
what a great idea the taxi service was. What I didn’t realize at the time was
that mom was inviting everyone there to come with her — her treat — to
department stores, the market, even the theater. Prior to this, few of them got
out at night because of poor eyesight or fear of being alone.

Using the interest-earning account and realizing the savings of not having to
pay car insurance, upkeep, gas, etc., nobody was out of pocket. Mother was safe,
and she discovered many new friends where she lived.

While Mom never totally forgave me for selling her car, I know she enjoyed
her new freedom. And I was touched to meet all three of her taxi drivers when
they came to her funeral. — CARL IN CALIFORNIA

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DEAR CARL: You made your mother’s transition as painless as it could possibly
be. Congratulations for finding a clever solution to a sticky problem. No one
wants to give up driving and the independence that goes with it. But at some
point, everyone who lives long enough must.

DEAR ABBY: Want another letter for your “Can you top this?” file? I
have one for you.

My wife and I were invited to a 25th wedding anniversary party for my brother
and his wife. We arrived with a gift, as did the other guests. It was a lovely
gathering, and everyone congratulated “Bob and Mary” on their 25 wedded
years.


A little over a year ago, Bob and Mary “separated.” Imagine our family’s
surprise when Bob revealed that he and Mary had been divorced eight years
earlier! Our family had no idea and neither did their friends.

Abby, this couple thought they were “entitled” to a 25th anniversary
party and all the presents that go with it — which they kept, by the way. Some
folks will do anything for gifts, I guess. — DISILLUSIONED IN VIRGINIA

DEAR DISILLUSIONED: Some people will do almost anything to keep up
appearances. But faking a marriage eight years after the union has been
dissolved is carrying things a bit too far — and accepting 25th anniversary
gifts for a marriage that’s been over for almost a decade is out of the
ballpark.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne
Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear
Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.


Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets:
“Abby’s Favorite Recipes” and “More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby.” Send
a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $12
(U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby — Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount
Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)


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