Thinking about getting your first-time college student packed for dorm life can overwhelm even the most organized parent.

Plenty of retailers are ready to chip in with advice — Bed Bath & Beyond, Target and Wal-Mart issue lists of “essentials” for your student. Most of these lists take a great approach to organization, breaking down potential items into categories (personal care; bath; linens; entertainment) that make the planning more manageable. And the lists often suggest items that parents and students might not think of otherwise.

Retailers’ lists also might tend to suggest more purchases than necessary.

Fueled by parental love and anxiety, you may tend to load up on stuff. But will all that gear actually fit into your kid’s tiny new living space?

We’ve rounded up expert advice on how to figure out what you really need to buy and from where.

Take a deep breath, gather info

This isn’t as difficult as you think, says Harlan Cohen, author of “The Naked Roommate: And 107 Other Issues You Might Run Into in College,” a humorous advice book for first-time college students.

Visit the school’s website or call the housing office to find out what’s provided and, equally important, what’s on the “don’t bring” list.

“A lot of times, the university will provide a list of supplies that is really, really helpful,” says Deborah Hohler, retail expert for Upromise.com, which partners with retailers to help parents and students earn purchase rewards toward college savings and student loans.

The school list is smaller than commercial lists and more thoughtfully constructed, with the student and institution in mind, she says.

Craig Allen, director of residential services for Texas Christian University, echoes Hohler, saying he invariably sees students who have followed commercial lists bring in (and then cart out) forbidden items.

“They’re going to tell you to get your toaster oven, your coffeepot, your George Foreman grill, a halogen desk lamp,” he says. “We’re not going to allow those things.”

Try to learn as much as you can about the dorm room your child has been assigned. This will help you determine how much you can realistically fit and what type of extra storage you want, if any, says Barry Izak, an Austin-based professional organizer and past president of the National Association of Professional Organizers.

Another option is to have your student get on Facebook or MySpace to track down a residential adviser or peer counselor. Or you can call the school’s residential life office to be put in touch with someone. Students are an excellent source of information.

Some websites, such as www.askaboutcollege.com, can virtually connect your child with a student at his or her chosen school if one is available.

Remember, less is more

Now it’s time to start packing.

Universally, the experts we spoke with had one piece of advice: Pack light.

Craig Allen, director of residential services for Texas Christian University says, students don’t need as much as they think they do. Allen likes the idea of breaking the room down into categories and listing a few must-haves, such as:

– Clothing

– Bedding: two sets of extra-long twin linens, at least two towels, a blanket

– Personal items: hair dryers, curling irons and other electronics; plastic dishes and cutlery

– Personal care: toiletries, cosmetics, a caddy, flip-flops and bathrobe if the bathroom situation is communal

– Cleaning supplies: Clorox wipes or paper towels and spray cleaner, laundry detergent

– School/desk supplies: alarm clock, pens, pencils, calculator, personal computer, non-halogen desk lamp, flash drive, notebooks

– Decor: personal mementos, like pictures; 3M Command Strips for hanging them

– Extras: sewing kit, first-aid kit

It’s a sparse list, Allen says, but realistically, your student won’t need much more than that.

“There’s this panic that, ‘Oh my God, I’m going to be without my lava lamp’ and it’s kind of absurd,” says author Harlan Cohen. “People really need to chill out.”

Both Allen and Cohen recommended taking only the absolute essentials and then allowing at least a week of settling-in time so the student gets a better idea of what he or she will really use.

Cohen even recommends going as far as separating belongings into three piles: the essentials, things you’d like to have and things you’ll take if there’s space.

Pack all the essentials, he says. Then box up the “like to have” so Mom and Dad can send it later, if needed. Don’t even think about taking the maybes.

And resist the urge to buy the entire range of storage containers formulated for college dorms.

Buy it later

In fact, you might consider resisting the urge to buy at all.

The experts point out that most colleges are near the same Targets, Wal-Marts and Container Stores you’ll hit before you leave.

“Unless you’re going to Notre Dame in South Bend, Ind., you can probably find exactly what you would have found at home,” says Blake Lewis, founder of askaboutcollege.com.

If the student does need something, zipping out to buy it – or purchasing it online and having it shipped – is easy.

Texas Christian University’s residential director Craig Allen says many students wait until they arrive on campus to buy bedding so they can coordinate with their roommate. And they can certainly wait to buy bulkier items, like mattress pads.

It’s true that stores can sometimes run out of popular items during the return-to-campus rush, but, as Allen said before, living without a mattress pad for a week isn’t the end of the world. And, depending on the item, the student might find he doesn’t really need it anyway.

Another way to save some room in the car: Have items shipped. This requires careful coordination, but it can be a godsend if your student has to fly. You can order bedding, decor, etc. online. Contact the college to find out whether shipments can be sent in advance or if there is a local company that handles storage for advance shipments.

Also, remember that your student is most likely going to make a trip home in the near future. That means he or she can pack seasonally.

This probably goes without saying, but make sure your student talks with his or her roommate beforehand to avoid doubling up on space-stealing items like televisions and stereos.

And think seriously about leaving furniture at home. Allen says that’s one of the top things he sees go into rooms and then come back out again on moving day.

“Anything that’s not in the student’s bedroom at home on a regular basis is probably something they’re not going to need in the residence hall,” Allen says.