Coming to terms with the end of Burton deFrees long and richly productive life is a challenge.

When we gather on Sept. 17 to remember him, be ready for a big crowd and countless loving tributes. Among them may be one from his friends in the UU fellowship where Burt’s pronouncements, some outrageous, some profound, on health care, religion and politics were greeted with huzzahs and sometimes teasing boos. We all had a good time.

Thinking of Burt’s passing leads inevitably to remembering a very dear friend, his wife, Jane. Jane left us almost six years ago. Here’s a life lesson: You can get used to a loss, but never get over it.

Jane was a champion of the ignored and neglected, especially of that roughly 51,000 Mainers over 18 living with mental illness and the 13,000 children with mental health issues. She devoted a great deal of time and energy to building Oxford County Mental Health Services.

Jane was on the agency’s board when it hired Ron McHugh as its director. That was 11 years ago. “Our operating budget has increased from about $700,000 when I came on,” Ron said, “to $2.35 million today.”

The growth, he noted, means that more people are willing to seek treatment for their problems.

Kirk Little, clinical director for the service agency, was able to fill me in on its services. These are excellent, but limited.

Every county in the state has a mental health crisis center: OCMHS is ours. The service is “24/7” (364-3030) and cases range from one-time phone talks to referrals for longer-term assistance. That operation is housed in the Congress Street facility.

Rumford’s and Stephens hospital ERs turn to OCMHS when a patient exhibits mental illness. Patients requiring hospitalization are transferred to CMMC in Lewiston or Mercy in Portland. A terrible aspect of such a situation is that there are many fewer beds in their psychiatric units than patients in need. It is common, Kirk said, for ER staffs to care for such patients for days and days.

On the upper floors of the Rumford OCMHS building are four beds for long-term residential care and five for short-term respite care. Outpatient therapy services are available in Paris, three days a week, and 3 1/2 in Rumford. Not enough. Weekly, long-term therapy sessions are provided by a psychiatrist and a nurse practitioner just one day a week in the Paris facility. Between them, they see some 35 patients each week. Worse than not enough.

Even so, OCMHS does a great deal of good.

HOPE. Recently, a River Valley women’s club learned firsthand how long and hard the road to managing mental illness can be. The speaker, once a resident of our area, told his story with candor, humor and grace. He answered many questions about his own mental illness and those of others. He has come out of a dark place to health and today works with peers to encourage those still on their way to “just being a person.” His team works to raise awareness of mental illness and to counter stereotyping and prejudice.His message is: If you come to terms with your mental disorder, there’s hope.

Linda Farr Macgregor is a freelance writer; contact her: [email protected]