Mayor vs. Mayor

Every time I read about the latest caterwauling between former Mayor Larry Gilbert and present Mayor Robert Macdonald (wait, did I get that right?), the image that immediately comes to mind is the old Spy vs. Spy cartoon from Mad Magazine (or was it Cracked?). In fact, to keep this love fest rolling, I think each of them should get a broad, low-slung hat so that we can tell them apart. Comical bombs and elaborate booby traps would be fun, too. The question is, which of them wears black and which wears white? Ah, who cares. Bring on the hilarious trap doors and cartoon clouds of smoke that say BOOM inside them.

Bates students take icy dip

And for the rest of the day, dozens of Bates studs were heard to exclaim: “I was in the pond!” It happens to the best of us.

Zombie debt

Here’s a new term for debt that was settled or has expired, but which rises from the grave, rotted and stinking, to terrorize the populace. The populace being some guy who thought he paid off that old utility bill years ago, but will now have his brain eaten because some collection service has decided to resurrect the matter. Confusing, ain’t it? Think of the victim as the good guy in “Night of the Living Dead.” His debt is represented by all those lurching undead ghouls outside where they moan, groan and eat entrails like it was movie popcorn. The collection service? That would be the rifle-toting gang of rednecks that roams the countryside hunting zombie/debt and bringing the whole thing to a sad end by shooting the good guy in the head. Never seen “Night of the Living Dead?” Just forget that last part.

Three Naked Guys

Were charged last week after cavorting nude in downtown Lewiston. And here, I thought it was a hot new hamburger joint with convenient locations in Brunswick and Portland.

Food for thought

I’ve never met Councilman Nathan Libby, but I tend to agree with him on the matter of restaurant inspection posting. I’m not convinced that everyone wants to know where they’re most apt to find a hair in their food. Most diners I know are fully aware of the grim possibilities, but choose to put it out of mind when they go out for prime rib and French fries. The more alarming aspect in all this is that I know a politician by name and actually agree with him on a serious matter. That’s just strange. Must be something I ate.

Bieber busted

The pretty lad is accused of egging a house and drag racing. Poor dude went to bed a star and woke up in a Porky’s movie.

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