On Thursday, Maine State Police took to Facebook to tell a wild and fanciful tale of Cop versus Opossum, an incident that went down in Greene. It begins with Trooper Eric Paquette stopping to investigate a pair of vehicles pulled to the side of the road. What follows is either terror or comedy, depending on how you feel about wildlife.

“Trooper Paquette was suddenly confronted by one of the citizenry in dire need of his assistance,” according to the Facebook report. “It seems whilst driving, Mr. James Feely was given a start by a stowaway underneath his seat.

“During Trooper Paquette’s ‘investigation,’ he observed a rather creepy, hairless tail protruding from underneath the seat. Being that troopers are ‘jacks-of-all-police trades,’ Trooper Paquette returned to the trunk of his car to retrieve his riot baton.

The narrative continues: “Now let me just say right now that no animals were harmed during this ‘investigation’ and before the wisecracks about police brutality start flying, I’d like to say that the riot baton is a legitimate tool.

“With baton in hand,” the state police official wrote, “Trooper Paquette returned to Mr. Feely’s vehicle and gently encouraged — I believe Eric’s exact words were ‘persuaded,’ the rather ferocious-looking critter from the passenger compartment of the vehicle and back into the wild from whence it came.

“What was this beast you ask? Well, if you’ve looked at the photo already, you know that it was an opossum,” the official wrote. “Not your regular docile, fainting at the first sight of fear opossum, but a nasty, fire-breathing-type opossum. At least that’s what Paquette says.”

State police have maintained a social media presence, but recently, like other departments, have begun including lighter stories to engage the people they serve.

According to the report on Thursday, the opossum tale was told with the encouragement of the “victim” of the affair.

“This little incident only came to our attention because Mr. Feely wanted to thank Trooper Paquette for a job well done, but didn’t think to get his name before leaving,” according to the Facebook narrative.

“Thanks for being a good sport, sir, and for the kind words you shared with us. Now if we could just get boats, ATVs and snow sleds, we might just be able to have as much fun as those game wardens.”

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