So. Valentine’s Day is Sunday.

We’re sure you knew that.

We’re also sure you’re ready, what with the chocolates and roses and wine and reservations at a romantic restaurant and the two tickets to Cabo San Lucas you stashed in your sock drawer. You know, the things you got weeks ago in preparation for a day that doesn’t mean anything to some people but happens to mean a lot to your special someone. 

That day is this Sunday.

. . .

Panicked yet?

Bliss to the rescue!

Granted, we can’t help with the tickets to a Mexican beach resort or reservations at any restaurant within a 50-mile radius, but we searched L-A long and hard for last-minute heartfelt gifts for $10 or less. And when we say last-minute, we mean, like, 10 p.m. Saturday. While you’re getting gasoline. Or picking up cold medicine. 

Your sweetheart never has to know.

And if you’ve already gotten a pair of Cabo tickets but like our ideas better? Well. We can pack last-minute, too.

Rite Aid

* Plush bear with ribbon, $7.99 (25 percent off with store card)

Soft, white bear with a gauzy red ribbon at its neck and “love” scrawled on its tummy. Cuddly and adorable without making you look like you don’t know what you’re doing, a la Tony Stark and the giant stuffed rabbit of “Iron Man 3.”  Though if your Valentine makes an unhappy face, just say you’re being ironic. Then save him/her from the clutches of a mad scientist bent on world domination. Easy.  

• Keep Calm and Drink Wine heart-shaped box of chocolates, 3.1 oz., $5.99

Adorable and a little sassy with a faux-corkboard front and chocolates inside.

Pair with:

• Martinelli’s Sparkling Cider, 25.4 oz., $3.19

Yes, it’s not the aforementioned wine, but it’s still romantically effervescent. Say, “I raise my glass to your wonderfulness,” and there will be no whining about the alcohol content.


• Plush “Say it with love” teddy bear, $9.99

In red or pink, a timeless emergency go-to. As these are being cut and stuffed in a factory overseas, said seamstresses are thinking, “This will be bought in desperation at 11:59 p.m. on Feb. 13,” then they give it a kiss and an extra squeeze. That’s not scratchy lace it’s ringed with; that’s love.

• Blu-ray movies, $4.99

Decent selection, including “Moonraker,” “Little Fockers,” “For the Love of Benji” and “Love & Other Drugs” for a cozy Valentine’s movie night at home. Nothing says love like good-naturedly sitting through your partner’s favorite 1970s Bond. James Bond.  

J&S Oil

• Single red rose, $2.99

Drip, drip, drip. That’s the sound of a heart melting.

Pair with:

• Ben & Jerry’s ice cream, pint, $5.79

Ideal for a new romance or new overture to an old romance. Show up with one rose and one pint of Phish Food and you are IN. Drop the mic. It’s over. He or she is totally going to Applebee’s with you next Tuesday.

• Firewood bundle, $5.25

For stoking the embers of love.

Pair with:

• Movie candy, $1.69

Tons to choose from, including Junior Mints, Sugar Babies, Sour Patch Kids and Raisinets. Take turns feeding each other candy as you snuggle in front of a crackling fire. If that isn’t a sweet evening, we don’t know what is.

Cumberland Farms

• Cupcake Vineyards wine, 750 ml, $9.99

Choose from sauvignon blanc, Chardonnay or “red velvet.” If your beloved doesn’t at least smile over Red Velvet wine from Cupcake Vineyards, you have bigger problems than Valentine’s Day.   

• Farmhouse Bakery whoopie pies, 2/$3

In chocolate or peanut butter, they make a perfectly sweet pair.

Pair with:

• “American Pie” Blu-ray/DVD, $4.99

Trot down memory lane with Stifler, Stifler’s Mom, this one time at band camp. … This 1999 hit is perfect for cuddling on the couch and laughing while you nosh your whoopies.

Also, yes, it came out 17 years ago. That’s almost two decades. But don’t think about that. It’s ageless — and you’re ageless — like love.

Best find: Your beloved

After 20 or 40 or 60 years, you found each other! That’s worth celebrating.

Think twice: About skipping Valentine’s Day

If your sweetheart is into the day, the effort is always appreciated.

Bag Lady and Shopping Siren’s true identities are protected by a pair of stylish, sweater-wearing Doberman pinschers (who don’t care so much about Valentine’s Day but cherish International Bacon Day) and the Customer Service counter at the Sun Journal. You can reach them at [email protected] and [email protected].

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