COLUMBUS, Ohio — Relatives of a 91-year-old Ohio woman who died this week are giving her the last word with a sassy, occasionally profane obituary that starts with the basics — “I was born. I lived. I died.” — and instructs people to “wait the appropriate amount of time” before trying to claim her stuff.

They wrote it in Jean Oddi’s perspective, recapping the people important to her, adventures she had and her favorite activities, including playing cards and teaching her granddaughter “dirty songs.”

Her daughter, Casey Oddi Clark, tells The Columbus Dispatch the obituary celebrates a blunt woman who lived unapologetically.

It also promises an “after-party” following the funeral but warns: “If you are sick, don’t bother to come. I might be dead, but I still don’t want your germs.”