Bliss Thru Shopping: I suck and other revelations

This week’s been a doozy and it’s not over yet! So let’s hop to it.

I suck

Bag Lady may have fried the family Dyson this week by vacuuming up bits of a shattered plastic Easter egg. The motorhead started smoking, the plastic casing started melting and the machine whined louder than a 747 at takeoff until it was toast. Fini. No more. Poof.

Which left me with, seemingly, one very unpleasant option: Forking out hundreds for a new vacuum cleaner.

(Hundreds the Easter Bunny had not, perchance, also left behind.)

Days later, Mr. Bag Lady suggested we Google “Dyson replacement parts.” We found the exact same new motorhead on Amazon and $58.40. We’re back in business and sucking again, in, like, the best way.

Just wanted to share as a cautionary tale/tip. When all is lost, well, sometimes, happily, it’s not. If you have $58.40.

The virtues of not lying

Noticed that “The Property Brothers” aren’t duping homeowners anymore? Surely it was Bliss who set them straight.

Back in January 2016, Bag Lady wrote about the HGTV show’s hope-dashing formulaic start: Each episode opened with the brothers taking would-be home buyers on a tour of a spectacular property that they fall in love with only to discover that it’s wildly overbudget.

It was uncomfortable and confounding: How did homeowners keep falling for it 100 episodes into the hit show?

Well, no more. New episodes open with Drew and Jonathan Scott touring an inspiration property with a happy couple, a la, “You can’t afford this, but here’s what we could make your place look like.”

So much better. High-five, guys!

Super spicy!

Perhaps this is way too deep a look inside the shards of my smoky brain, but Bag Lady has wondered for quite literally years: What’s the deal with spices?

Is the Dollar Tree the best on a cost-per-ounce ratio or is my wallet getting flogged by the perception of a deal because, heck, I’m only paying a dollar for that bottle of XYZ spice?

(Maybe you should first know that I don’t cook much. You should secondly know that with such finely honed skepticism, I’m a hit at parties.)

So I buy a container of spice. I wonder about the best price. Said spice lasts four years and I promptly forget the best-price question.

Until this week, baby.

Because, like “The Property Brothers,” I’m turning over a new leaf. Basil, in this case.

I compared the smallest store-brand containers for cinnamon, onion powder and basil leaves at Dollar Tree, Hannaford, Shaw’s and Wal-Mart and broke them down on a cost-per-ounce basis.

Dollar Tree took the cinnamon spice cake, by a lot.*

* There could be an argument over freshness or quality. I eat Twinkies. I have no refined taste buds. Cheapest it is!

Cinnamon: Dollar Tree, 33 cents/oz.; Hannaford, 80 cents/oz.; Wal-Mart, $1.03/oz.; Shaw’s, $1.05/oz.

Onion powder: Dollar Tree, 50 cents/oz.; Wal-Mart, 93 cents/oz.; Shaw’s, $1.14/oz. (There wasn’t any store-band onion powder at Hannaford.)

Basil leaves: Dollar Tree, $1.05/oz.; Wal-Mart, $3.19/oz.; Shaw’s, $3.19/oz.; Hannaford, $3.19/oz.

A pressing, yearslong question finally answered and public service done.

Does that mean we can talk about TV some more?

Great!

The verdict: Amazing

Bag Lady totally fell for the new NBC show “Trial & Error.”

An actual email conversation trying to get Shopping Siren to watch it:

BL: Long weekend binge watch recommendation: The new John Lithgow comedy “Trial & Error.” It is VERY “Office”/”Spinal Tap” — silly, smart. I am LOVING it.

SS: Really! I thought the idea of it sounded horrible. How do you get a comedy out of a guy accused of killing his wife?

BL: Ha! Legit skeptical response.*

* See, I’m not just a skeptic — I even hang out with them.

So I checked in two weeks later:

BL: Did you ever try “Trial & Error”?

SS: I haven’t seen it! I keep looking for it, but I’m not even sure which day it’s on.

* Spoiler alert* the finale was this week, but I intend to keep my binge-watching full-court-press up. Because it most certainly does not suck.

Bag Lady’s true identity is protected by a pair of stylish, sweater-wearing Doberman pinschers (who inspired the purchase of the Dyson Ball Animal vacuum) and the customer service counter at the Sun Journal. You can reach her at [email protected]