Probed

It’s kind of funny that the Facebook privacy revelations are such big news right now. Are people really that stunned to learn that social media is a privacy nightmare? That’s like being surprised by what occurs during a colonoscopy. I mean, what did you THINK was going to happen?

It happened one night

Late Wednesday night, there was a report of a structure fire at a Route 4 business near the Auburn-Turner line. Fully involved! Firefighters started racing to the scene, as did I. The next report that came over the scanner clarified that it wasn’t actually a structure fire, but a chimney fire. A few minutes later, it was further explained that it wasn’t so much a chimney fire as it was a guy who simply thought he might have some kind of issue with his chimney. I fully expected the next scanner report to reveal that there actually is no business at the Auburn-Turner line. In fact, do we even have a Route 4? It’s all very Zen or something.

Forecast whiplash

That non-fire call was quite a lot like the nor’easter that was expected to hammer Maine on Wednesday. And then to NOT hammer Maine on Wednesday. And then to maybe not so much hammer Maine, but kind of elbow Maine in the ear or perhaps kick it in the ankle. I don’t know which of Maine’s body parts got poked, kicked or slugged, but I personally didn’t see a single snowflake so, whatever.

It’s all downhill from here

Not to mention Saddleback, who’s fans celebrated the announcement that the ski resort was going to be sold, grumbled when it was reported that the expected new owner was less than enthused about opening the hill, and then scratched their heads in utter bewilderment (at least that’s how I reacted) at the news that said owner was being sued by a Chinese investor. Or something. I mean, seriously, what’s going on at Saddleback? Can I still put on a fake leg cast and drink in the lounge, or what?

Royal pain

Oh, great Prince Harry is getting married soon on the grounds of Windsor Castle. Normally I’d pay no attention this matter (I still haven’t gotten over being snubbed by Victoria and Prince Al), but my wife has a way of attracting wedding invitations from complete strangers. If an envelope with gold trim shows up in my mailbox, there’s a solid chance it’s going to accidentally fall into the recycling bin. I mean, I’d really like to help send Prince H off, but May 19 in England? Sorry, bro. I plan to be on my dirt bike and stuck in a mud hole in Turner that day.

Going places

I’ll be on vacation next week so don’t look for me in this space come Sunday. Funny thing about vacations: I always end up encountering all varieties of weird stuff that would fit right in with Talk of the Town. Like that time I went to Los Angeles and suffered in rainy 40-degree weather, while back in Maine, you people were enjoying fluke 80-degree sunshine? Ha ha ha! Wasn’t that a blast? I can laugh about it now, but truth be told, the irony of that trip nearly killed me. Fortunately, this year the most exotic vacation I can afford is a day trip to Greene. Possibly Litchfield if I take out a small loan.

Mark LaFlamme