Talk of the town?

How in blue blazes should I know what the talk of the town is? I’ve been on vacation for two weeks. Thanks for noticing. All I can tell you is that the new “Halloween” is just God awful, the movie “Hereditary” is terrifying and the town of Unity celebrates Halloween like it’s Samhain in the age of Druids for some reason. I mean, they’re really into it. Also, two weeks of rain in late October ought to be a crime. Sounds like a job for the new governor, whomever that happens to be. Holy crap, it isn’t me, is it?

Also

“Black Christmas” is an excellent film. Watch it as part of your Halloween celebrations or wait until Christmas and make it a part of your Yuletide festivities. Why, it’s every bit as wholesome and touching as “It’s a Wonderful Life” when you get right down to it. In this one, George Bailey is living in the attic and occasionally killing folks with garbage bags, knickknacks and a nifty improvised hook contraption. But other than that, it’s practically the same movie.

Seth Carey

You have to hand it to the dude. He made it a close enough race that rival Andrew Robinson must have had at least a couple uncomfortable moments Tuesday night. And let’s be honest here: Carey’s arts-‘n-crafts approach to campaign signs was rather refreshing. Swear to God I saw one made of construction paper and dried macaroni out near the Vets Bridge. That’s going right up on the refrigerator, little mister.

Advertisement

It’s fine. Drink it.

Lewiston city officials say the drinking water is fine – just fine – even if it tastes funny and smells peculiar. Just drink it and stop asking questions, in other words. Yeah right, Lewiston city officials. Last time I fell for that bit at a keg party, I ended up drinking . . . but just you never mind what I ended up drinking. That was a long time ago and I’m over it, mostly. Thanks to therapy and mouthwash. The point is that I don’t drink city water, myself, so in the interest of journalistic integrity, I’m gonna go have a gulp and report back with my findings.

Lewiston water findings

It’s fine. Drink it. Just let me get my video camera set up first.

Darkness falls

Was also a horrible movie, by the way. A demented Tooth Fairy? Come on! But what I’m talking about here is this ridiculous daylight saving time thing, which leaves us in total darkness by 5 p.m. Here’s an assignment for our new governor, whomever that turned out to be. Get us off this daylight saving thing so we don’t all end up drinking Mad Dog 20/20 for lunch each day. But first, I’d like to welcome you to the Blaine House with this delicious glass of Lewiston tap water. It’s fine, drink it.


Only subscribers are eligible to post comments. Please subscribe or login first for digital access. Here’s why.

Use the form below to reset your password. When you've submitted your account email, we will send an email with a reset code.