All the President’s Men’

Watched this movie the other night and realized I’d never seen it. Odd, right? A story of two reporters working on a story big enough to topple a president? Why the careers of Woodward and Bernstein are very much like my own, with the small exception that I tend to work mostly on mysteries involving stolen Christmas ornaments, dead animals along Route 4 and rowdiness at the Sabattus town meetings. But other than that, it’s practically the same thing.

Fireball overtakes Allen’s Coffee Brandy

I always judge the most popular liquor locally by the number of empty bottles I step on when I’m walking, running or skipping in downtown Lewiston. It’s almost exclusively Fireball whiskey these days, which makes me a feel a bit like I did when that Buster Douglas character sneaked up and dethroned the mighty Mike Tyson back in the day. I did step on an Allen’s Coffee Brandy jug on Walnut Street the other night, but that one was mine so it doesn’t count.

We’ve all been there

People get excited about the weirdest things these days. It’s getting so you can’t even wheel around a Walmart parking lot in an electric cart whilst drinking wine out of a Pringles can anymore. That action will get you banned, yo, which is a little bit curious. I went to Walmart the other night for some personal items you don’t need to know about, and seeing a woman drinking wine out of a Pringles can wouldn’t even have made the top 10 list of interesting things I saw at the store.

A happening hair style is just a stone’s throw away

So last week I went curling for the first time. I brought my own curling iron, but the guy told me that’s not how the game is played. That was kind of a bummer, but at least my Jheri curl is really popping now.

Gillette: Stop being such a man

For decades, Gillette has been telling us to be manly beasts – to let pure testosterone ooze from our faces and then to hack it off with cold steel. The best a man can get and all that. But with the release of a new commercial last week, Gillette has gone in another direction, choosing to push a warped sense of social justice over manliness. Any kind of manliness. If you’re a boy, stop wrestling in the dirt with other boys. If you’re a grown man, stop appreciating female beauty. You filthy teenagers need to stop all that rough housing and learn to play nice. The way the virtual signaling folks of Gillette describe it, all masculinity is toxic and should be shamed, shunned and abolished. Apparently they’ve found a clever new way of selling razors by convincing boys to stop being boys and men to be more like women.