Did you see that awesome television program and/or athletic event?

I hate writing Talk of the Town after a long vacation. How in blue blazes do I know what you people are talking about? I’m afraid I’m going to have to take a look at your personal diaries before I proceed.

Copy THIS!

A couple weeks ago, I confessed to upgrading to Windows 10 with great reluctance. My shame is great, but you people were very kind about it. And now I’m here to report that there’s actually something to love about this operating system: the clipboard. It isn’t like clipboards of old where you could copy one block of text and one alone for pasting in later. The Windows 10 clipboard? You can copy all you want and spend the rest of the day pasting like a boss! This is a great feature for someone like me who’s always forgetting what’s on his clipboard, which can lead to embarrassing mistakes that will get a brother yelled at by an editor. I swear, I didn’t mean to paste that seven-syllable swear word where the police log is supposed to go.

By the way

That seven-syllable cuss was cultivated when I went to the mailbox for a Very Important Package before remembering that Monday was a holiday. Later in the day, when I found that it had snowed enough to cover my motorcycle seat, I unleashed an even BIGGERER swear word. Twelve syllables, that one was, and it was so profane and guttural, I think I might have sprained my thorax.

A comprehensive list of things that I like about November

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Election Day!

I was still on vacation on Election Day so I have no observations to make. Congratulations to those of you who attained the positions sought. Try not to mess things up too badly, huh?

Speechless

Early last week, I had to decline another invitation to go speak to a classroom of junior high kids about the thrills and chills of news reporting. I tell you, there is just no way to respond to those invitations without sounding like a complete and utter wuss. “I’m sorry, sir or madam. I’m profoundly afraid of children, school teachers and chalk.”

Chalk?

Do they even use that stuff anymore? Great. Now I’m not just a craven, I’m an over-the-hill craven. I’d paste a big, fat swear word here to express my self-loathing, but my editor won’t let me.

I don’t even know who you ARE anymore!

OK, I’ve read all of your personal diaries. You people are ctrl+V disgusting!

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