If former president Trump’s enemies had wanted to immortalize their contempt for him in the form of a statue, it’s doubtful they could have improved on the gold grotesquerie their pro-Trump colleagues wheeled out at the Conservative Political Action Conference in Florida recently. In fact, when I first saw the thing, before reading anything about it, it struck me as being the wonderwork of some anti-Trump group like the Lincoln Project, founded by disaffected Republicans in 2019.

I was wrong. Incredibly, it was created as a tribute to the “chosen one,” clearly intended to fortify the hearts of his stop-the-steal dupes.

The garish, gold chrome monstrosity features flip flops (really?), American flag shorts (seriously?) and, in his left hand, a magic wand — an embarrassing irony, certainly, considering last November’s presidential election. In his right hand he holds the U.S. Constitution, which, it hardly needs saying, he understands and cherishes more than any American in history who’s ever read it.

I myself find two things wrong with the memorial:  The MAGA hat is missing, and what’s more surprising is that he’s not portrayed with an open mouth telling the world just exactly what’s what.

Is it too much to predict that someday soon we’ll see the one-term president pictured hugging the thing and wearing his self-conceited smile? Or might he have too much sense to be caught dead within 25 feet of it?

William LaRochelle, Lewiston