Meep meep
Saw a guy chasing a runaway laundry cart outside a Lewiston hospital the other day, and his efforts were so heroic, I swear I heard the “Chariots of Fire” theme playing off in the distance. The dude ran at a full sprint chasing the thing, falling twice, but never giving up. The cart, meanwhile, seemed to be connected to some Wile E. Coyote-style rocket contraption. It sped off in a straight line and then suddenly veered in another direction. It started to slow and then inexplicably picked up speed. I thought of giving chase on my motorcycle, but it was happening on a one-way street and I didn’t have my lasso with me (left it in my other chaps). Meanwhile, traffic backed up behind me as everyone and their cousin had stopped to watch the cartoon-style drama. I don’t know how it ended, inasmuch as people started to honk behind me and I had to go. I like to think that dude is still out there, teeth grit and fists clenched, chasing that cart like Ahab hunting his white whale. When he catches the thing, I hope he mounts it on his wall.

Foliage!
I have nothing to say about foliage at this time.

Pumpkins!
I have nothing to say about pumpkins, either. I refuse to acknowledge any of this autumnal nonsense while it’s still flirting with 80 degrees outside. I’ll just go ahead and assume all those goblins and skeletons in various front yards are unusual Fourth of July decorations. You people are weird.

Corn mazes…
What did I JUST say!

Time to change
And don’t even get me started on the “fall back” time change coming in a few weeks. That’s JUST what we want: an extra hour of 2021. Either roll the clocks ahead until next spring, I say, or spin them all the way back to the 1980s.

The fall of Burger King
People got wicked excited when the Burger King on Lisbon Street in Lewiston was reduced to a a vaguely french fry-scented heap of rubble. I wanted to get wicked excited too, so I dug deep for any kind of fond memory I have of the place. I’ve interviewed a few sources there I guess (always go swanky when you’re wooing a source), but otherwise, all my BK memories entail me being confused over the menu at the drive-thru speaker and having a lot of angry people honking behind me. I’m more of a Wendy’s guy.

Dude, I’m lovin’ it
So apparently, yet another marijuana store is going up at the former McDonald’s site on Lisbon Street. There’s a beautiful kind of symmetry about this. Word has it, Ronald McDonald himself is so excited about this, he’s refused to leave. In our hearts, didn’t we always suspect? That dude is waaay too happy.

Related Headlines


Only subscribers are eligible to post comments. Please subscribe or to participate in the conversation. Here’s why.

Use the form below to reset your password. When you've submitted your account email, we will send an email with a reset code.