Talk of the Town Ernie Anderson

‘With strange aeons, even death may die’
I’ve been on a wicked Lovecraft bender since the Halloween season began, so don’t be surprised if my writing in coming days turns darkly florid. “Through the ghoul-pooled darkness of a tormented lower Lisbon Street, I spied the malignant library hovering from within the hellish mist that had overtaken the land like some deviant invader.” And that will be part of a story about a simple fender bender. Just wait until you see my weather stories. We’re talking blasphemous wind, maleficent sleet and a whole bunch of perverse weather patterns possibly influenced by the unholy power of Cthulhu.

Can you dig it?
So, I was heading through Auburn on my motorcycle, making for the wilds of Buckfield, when I spotted a man dragging a human-sized trash bag across Goff Street. I mean, this scene had everything but a bloody trail left on the pavement. Still being in a playful Halloween mood, I was tempted to slow down and ask the fellow if he needed help burying the item. I was half afraid he’d take me up on it, though, and I really didn’t want to have to spend the sunny afternoon digging a hole in some dude’s backyard. Yeah, I’m not doing that again.

While I was cruising the backroads of New Hampshire on Halloween night, in one little town I came across a big ol’ place called Smitty’s Wrestling Barn. Guess what? I didn’t go in. I like a good thrill on Halloween night, but spending the evening with my face in some guy’s armpit ain’t it.

Excuse me…
The above should read, “Whilst cruising the black sea of infinity which are the backroads of ghost-plagued New Hampshire, in one demon-vexed town I came across cyclopean ruins called Smitty’s Wrestling Barn and Phantasmagorical Life Form Emporium. From within one could hear the green slosh and terrible thumpings of ancient beings plotting the overthrow of the oblivious and doomed human species. The eldritch horrors of the abysm before me exposed my shrieking soul to the fantastic terrors of an untold universe! So I left. Because … armpits.

My vacation influenced the weather
You can’t help but notice that while I was away on vacation, the weather turned freakishly warm. Even as November slithered onto the calendar, we were having warm sunny days like it was late summer all up in here. Now THAT’S what autumn ought to be like. If you’d like to keep this going, simply donate all your accrued vacation time to me, Mike LaFlamme of the Lewiston Sun and Journal, and I’ll bet we can keep this streak going through New Year’s Day.

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