Talk of the Town Ernie Anderson

Let it rain
I’m just back from vacation. Had a great time, thank you for asking. The weather was nice but for two days of downpour at the tail end of Hurricane Dolores, or whatever she was called. Those were the two days that I picked to camp out, as it happens. I got so intimately involved with my tarps over those days and nights, I had to give them all names. Days later, I still have mushrooms growing out of places you don’t even want to know about. Or maybe you DO want to know about it, in which case call me and I’ll send pics.

A walk in the woods
I’ll have you know that when I go hiking these days, I use hiking poles like the professionals. Not just one pole, either, but TWO of them. I think this probably means that I’m ready to hike the Appalachian. Might even do it both ways just to show off. I mean, why not? I have hiking poles!

Sierra owns my organs
Meanwhile, the camping store, Sierra, continues to vex me. Every time I go in that place, I end up buying things I didn’t know I needed. It’s like I’m hypnotized. I bought so many hiking packs there that I had to pick up an additional pack just to carry them. Plus two sleeping bags that compress down to the size of a single pea so they can fit neatly into one of your 10 hiking packs. Plus an emergency tenting kit in case, you know… I get stranded on Park Street some night. If you hear me blowing my emergency whistle, come quickly and I’ll show you my mushrooms.

Rub-a-dub-dub
So, before I went on vacation (I was on vacation, you know), I was asked to stop in at a new massage parlor in downtown Lewiston. Tough assignment. I was just getting into the groove with that one — really reaching my Zen zone — when I was hastily called off and sent to cover a pee-pee controversy, instead. You may recall: Lewiston city councilor admits to taking leaks in public places. I guess that one was fun, too, and came with the benefit of not being charged $50 for a half-hour.

Back-to-school
Of course, I’m distraught seeing all the back-to-school stuff in gaudy store displays these days because nothing hints at summer’s end like rows and rows of notebooks and binders, book bags and pencil kits. Whenever this time of year rolls around, I get a weird hankering to buy a new lunch box, but Sierra doesn’t sell them, so I’ll just go without.

Hold the phone!
Actually, Sierra DOES sell lunchboxes, they just call them “soft side coolers.” They don’t have any with the “Six Million Dollar Man” on them, though, so that’s a bummer.