REGION — For those suffering from alcoholism and other substance addictions, this time of year from Thanksgiving through New Year’s is known as the “Bermuda Triangle.”

Paul Robert of Bethel, a substance abuse recovery coach and volunteer, said the three successive holidays can feel overwhelming for people struggling with mental health issues, in part because they may feel judged by family members as they gather together.

Robert has advice for them now, but he is also looking into the new year with the hope of establishing a better emotional support system for them.

He said that most underlying issues facing people with substance addiction “are borne from family dynamics.” If visiting family this time of year is likely to trigger related feelings, said Robert, “I tell them, ‘Don’t go.’”

That may be difficult to do, he said, because the people he advises may say such things as “I don’t want to disappoint my mother.”

But, Roberts said, “You have to take care of yourself first.”

Looking at the bigger seasonal picture, Robert said there’s also an upside. People generally tend toward a greater generosity of spirit this time of year in viewing those suffering with substance abuse, and he hopes to take advantage of that sentiment to encourage a community-centered conversation about improving support.

“People are more compassionate during the holidays,” he said.

Within the past year the Bethel area lost its 37-year-old Alcoholics Anonymous group, which had held regular meetings all those years in Bethel for dozens of recovering alcoholics.

That has been a blow, Robert said, because now a person must drive at least half an hour to attend such a meeting.

He described a person fresh out of rehab as “raw” emotionally and in great need of support both from an AA group as well as the greater community.

That person “should go to as many meetings as possible,” and be sure to note they are new in recovery, he said.

Most people coming out of rehab do so with prescribed psychoactive medications, said Robert.

But he said it’s important to get to the underlying trauma that led to substance abuse, rather than just treat the symptoms.

Personal loss

Roberts is himself a recovering alcoholic. Originally from Burlington, Vt., he worked for years in management for the Master Card Corporation. He and his wife, who grew up in Bethel, moved here two years ago.

Six years ago Roberts lost his 25-year-old daughter in a Vermont car crash in which she was driving under the influence.

But even with that tragedy, said Roberts, “I knew where to go immediately,” because he was familiar with the support system in Vermont. “I was in counseling the next day,” he said.

Next steps

In Bethel he is now sending out feelers to people who may be able to help with establishing support resources here. That includes talking with the Health and Wellness Center in Rumford. He and his wife are also talking with Bethel people about whether it might be possible to create a recovery center in town. It would be a place people could go to feel safe and get counseling. “They could gather their wits, and move on,” said Robert.

He said it would be good to have a central location, perhaps a place such as the Ethel Bisbee School property in Bethel Village.

“It’s just a vision for now,” he said.

He said a similar center in Vermont where he worked was funded via grants, private support and individual donations. That is the type of setup he sees for Bethel.

Robert said that going into the new year he hopes the goodwill of the season will prompt people with ideas on how to help to connect with him. He’s open to any kind of community discussion or exchange, and has already talked with others in the area interested in helping out. A new website was recently started for that purpose – Recoverybethel.org.

“The town needs to have a conversation,” he said.