Talk of the Town Ernie Anderson

‘Bates College will no longer hire students to model nude’
I liked this headline so much that I refused to read the accompanying story for fear that it would spoil the pure joy and speculation that those 10 words inspire. If you read the headline and skip the story, your imagination will try to fill in the blanks and it’s just outright fun. But now I fear that maybe I have said too much, so let’s just move on.

‘The Gilded Age’
There is just no WAY that you could ever prove that I’ve been watching this soap-opera style show from the creator of “Downton Abbey.” Ask me and I’ll deny it. Suggest it and I’ll declare you a slanderer. Me? Watch a show about snotty rich folks battling for their place in society and fighting over things like opera houses? You must be mad! Although, a guy I know who IS watching it says it’s like “Game of Thrones” but with frilly dresses and incredibly ornate hats. But that’s just a guy I know. Not me.

Oxford Hills Community Page
All week I waited breathless to be approved as a member of this Facebook page. I’ve heard tell that this community page is THE place to be if you want to hear about drone sightings in western Maine. Finally, at about 3:37 p.m. on Tuesday, the glorious news came down. I was in. I thank the administrators for being gracious enough to admit an outsider into this fine community. I promise to follow the rules, be on my best behavior and to always remember the first rule of the club. You know the rule. Don’t try to make me say it because I’ll get into trouble.

Cows gone wild
It was quite a scene on the Maine Turnpike Monday as four cows spilled out of a trailer and onto the highway. I swear, if I’d been traveling in that area, I would have stopped and tried to quickly milk one or two of those moo-ers. Have you seen the price for a gallon of milk lately? I think I’m going to pre-position myself on that stretch of highway in case of a similar mishap with a load of chickens. I’m not real clear on how to milk a chicken, but I’ll figure it out.

Sabattus gonna Sabattus
So, I’m told there is a new interim police chief coming on in Sabattus. Maybe. I would check with the town manager for confirmation, but last I heard, they don’t have one. The last guy to serve in that role, also on an interim basis, has high-tailed it out of there, along with at least one selectman. I tell you, covering Sabattus is like trying to corral runaway chickens on the turnpike.