Auburn KFC closes without notice

Weasels! As far as I’m concerned, that joint still owes me money. The last time I went there, I had placed an online order only to drive over and find the place closed. I’d take them to court, but they’d probably end up paying me in mashed potatoes and I don’t like those anymore. The night they stiffed me on my food order, I had to resort to eating Spam or something heinous like that so there’s emotional distress to consider, too.

The frog gets me

So, I done it. I finally made my way down to Ash Street to see the new painting of the frog there upon the bricks. It really is a beauty, too. The croaker just jumps right off the wall at you. But at the same time, I’m troubled. With its one eye gawping at the street, that frog seems to stare right at me when I pass. I get the distinct feeling that it knows what I’m up to and it’s disappointed. Disappointed and a little ashamed of me. Of course, that might be more about me personally than the painting itself, so let’s just forget I said any of that.

June panic begins

Again with this? Every year, we allow May to slip by us too quickly and then suddenly its June and summer is pretty much over. In just a few weeks, the longest day of the year will give way to an incremental shortening of daylight hours and then BAM! Next thing you know it’s the Fourth of July. Back to school sales start appearing in stores and you might as well just gas up your snow blower at that point because winter is right around the corner. Might as well start your Christmas shopping, too. We have GOT to stop letting this happen.

Gonzo or Gone so?

Had yet another person compare my journalism style to that of Hunter S. Thompson the other day. It sounds like a compliment on its face, but I think what these people really mean is that my career has been dead for 20-plus years.

I’ll be honest with you

I’m having one of those weeks where I’m not awash in fodder for this column so I find myself riding around downtown Lewiston looking for things to write about here. At one point I came to a screeching halt when I thought I saw a dude giving another man an old-fashioned shoe shine on Park Street. How cool would it be if shoe shines became a thing again? But no, that’s not what was happening out there. At a glance, it looked like the two guys were simply trading footwear for some reason. That’s not something I’d write about here unless I was TRULY desperate.

Mark LaFlamme is an award-winning Sun Journal reporter and columnist. He’s covered the nighttime police beat since 1994, which is just grand because he doesn’t like getting out of bed before noon. He is the author of eight published novels and rides a dual sport motorcycle everywhere he goes. Unless it’s winter, in which case he just sulks a lot.