I’ve noticed quite a bit of football on television lately. This befuddles me since this sport is extremely boring. Yes, I realize that people who are deeply interested in this sport would disagree with me, but this must be looked at objectively. Someone with a fascination with moss would be in rapture watching a two-hour documentary on the subject. That does not mean that the rest of us, who would have been bored out of our minds, might concede that it was interesting. Of course, there does seem to be a large group of individuals, heedless of all logic, that actually enjoy watching football on television. If this matter were given a vote, it might be decided that the majority of the country were interested in this event. Yet, for true objectivity, it must be considered that there is an unknown factor, which causes these truly dull sports to seem exciting to many people without reasonable cause. I do not know what this factor is, but given the general rules that govern the medium of television, it seems clear that football certainly doesn’t fit.

Just look at any other broadcasted event that centers around competition. Compare, for instance, the show Survivor to the NFL. Survivor demonstrates a strict adherence to the rules of television. There’s drama, comedy, and action; it’s all very sensational and they try to play on your emotions. Also, there is a lot of change on the show Survivor, another important element of television. Each season the “castaways” are subjected to more torturous behavior.

From providing less food, to putting them in more inhospitable and dangerous environments, the producers try their best to keep the show exciting. Pretty soon, I imagine they will have to send people out with knives to provide a truly exciting obstacle for the contestants. Following that vein, next season could be set in a dangerous section of Washington D.C. (immunity challenge: escape from a stressed-out junkie with a gun).

On the other hand, the National Football League also centers on competition, but it lacks all the important elements of a televised event. There’s an extreme dearth of change, comedy or drama. They tried hiring Dennis Miller to inject a bit of humor, but I guess long, incomprehensible pop-culture rants just aren’t what the football public craves. There is certainly action, but it is so fragmented that it hardly matters. This might just be personal

See Aliens on page 7


Only subscribers are eligible to post comments. Please subscribe or to participate in the conversation. Here’s why.

Use the form below to reset your password. When you've submitted your account email, we will send an email with a reset code.