DEAR ABBY: My fiance, “Kenny,” and I are being married next month. We are upset and embarrassed about the slinky, low-cut gown his mother plans to wear. Kenny says if she goes through with wearing it, he doesn’t want her at the church, the reception, or in any of the photos.

Both Kenny and I have tried to tell his mom that the dress is too revealing and not appropriate for the occasion. At first she said she’d find a different dress, but she has since changed her mind and plans to wear it because Kenny’s dad “loves” the dress on her.

No one else in the family will back us up and tell her not to wear it. What can we do, Abby? Kenny’s mom will be embarrassing her son and me on the most important day of our lives. Help! – EMBARRASSED AND DISGUSTED IN FLORIDA

It’s time for your fiance to have a man-to-man talk with his dad about the facts of life regarding decorum. If that fails, I recommend that the mother of the groom spend as much time as possible holding the large bridal bouquet for you. (Consider asking the florist to throw in a few extra ferns.)

DEAR ABBY: I am 16 and very sad. I started my own advice column at school and received tons of letters asking for help. The reason I did it is because I plan on becoming a psychologist when I’m an adult.

Every time I mention my column or my future plans, my family and friends laugh and think it’s funny. A friend of my mother’s told me that there’s no way I could know at this point in my life what profession I want.

Abby, what should I do about people who have so little faith in me? Should I listen to them or try to brush off their remarks? Please help. – SAD GIRL ON THE EASTERN SEABOARD

Tune them out. A child who knows what she (or he) wants to do at an early age is fortunate. It’s called goal-setting, and many successful people have set their eyes on a goal early in their lives.

That said, it’s important that you get a solid education in order to realize your dream. Talk to a school counselor to make sure you are taking the courses you need to get into a good college. Do not let yourself be dissuaded by doubters. Your goal is a noble one.

DEAR ABBY: My mother has a terminal illness with only weeks to live. I have just learned from one of my relatives that Mom placed a baby for adoption when my siblings and I were very young.

I would love to find this stepbrother or sister. I feel an urgent need to locate him or her before Mother dies, so that they are able to meet. Mom has periods of confusion but is lucid some of the time. Family members are divided about whether or not this would be good for her. You opinion, please – ASAP. – ANXIOUS DAUGHTER IN NEW ENGLAND

Let go of this fantasy. The time for a reunion was when your mother was healthy and had expressed her desire to be reunited with her child. She is in no condition now for such a dramatic event. For further confirmation, discuss this with her doctor.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in “What Every Teen Should Know.” To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447.

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